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Jokes under Celebrities > Paul McCartney

28754
The math on the Paul McCartney-Heather Mills divorce is:

After 5 years of marriage, he paid her $49 million.

Assuming he banged her every night during their 5 year relationship (and, being married men, we all know THAT doesn't happen), it ends up costing him $26,849 per lay, not counting attorney's fees and court costs.

On the other hand, Elliot Spitzer's call girl Kristen charges $4,000 an hour. Crazy, right?

But...

Had Paul McC [...]

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Joke by kidneykutter in Celebrities - Paul McCartney - Added: 5 years, 0 months ago - Current Score: 288.4


1111877
It's been reported that Paul McCartney is to marry for the third time today.

He must have been up early. 		I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by city hobgoblin in Celebrities - Paul McCartney - Added: 1 year, 7 months ago - Current Score: 256.6




89
Paul McCartney tells his kids "I've got some bad news and some good news."

"The bad news is your mother's dead. But the good news is it's sausages for tea tonight." 		I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by JossDude in Celebrities - Paul McCartney - Added: 5 years, 11 months ago - Current Score: 228.2


1113792
Paul McCartney's finding it hard to adapt to his new wife.

When she asks for a foot rub he still keeps reaching for the sandpaper. 		I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by Wanky Spanky in Sex and shit - Marriage (+ 1 more) - Added: 1 year, 7 months ago - Current Score: 178.4


344979
"Paul McCartney hopes Abbey Road can be saved"

If only Paul knew someone with enough money to buy it. If only. Oh well. 		I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by UP4BANTER in Sex and shit - Divorce (+ 1 more) - Added: 3 years, 3 months ago - Current Score: 110.8


1112198
Paul McCartney had hoped that Nancy Shevell would be a little more respectful of his hard-earned fortune, but she's already splashed out twice as much on wedding shoes as Heather Mills... I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by daftbastard in Celebrities - Heather Mills (+ 2 more) - Added: 1 year, 7 months ago - Current Score: 91.4


1112835
"Newlywed McCartney celebrates with gigs"

Careful, Paul, he'll be fucking her before you know it. 		I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by Unassigned in Celebrities - Paul McCartney - Added: 1 year, 7 months ago - Current Score: 61.2


1708
On the first night of their marriage, Paul and Heather are lying in bed.

"Where the fuck is your other leg?" asks Paul.

"It's on the dressing table," replies Heather.

Paul says with a grin, "There's no need to open them that wide!" 		I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by pornstar in Celebrities - Heather Mills (+ 1 more) - Added: 5 years, 11 months ago - Current Score: 60.2


1333505
After such a breathtaking show it was nice to see the Olympic opening ceremony end on a high note.

Just a pity the sad old fuck couldn't reach it. 		I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by summerfever in Celebrities - Paul McCartney - Added: 10 months ago - Current Score: 51


67635
I see Paul McCartney's announced he's going to release an undiscovered Beatles' track from 1967. I think this is a bit suspect and something fishy's going on - like the track's only recently been recorded. The title's a dead giveaway: "I fucking hate people with one leg". I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by Unassigned in Celebrities - Heather Mills (+ 1 more) - Added: 4 years, 6 months ago - Current Score: 29.4



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