Jokes under Sex and shit > Phone Sex
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I had phone sex last night... Had to get the morning after bill. |
 
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As I laid on my sofa having a wank this morning, the house phone rang and it was a woman trying to sell me home insurance. "Is now a good time to talk?" she asked. "Yes" I panted, "You couldn't have picked a better time." "Great" she said, "Who are you with at the moment and what plan do you have?" I said, "I'm on my own, and my plan is to ejaculate whilst I'm talking to you." |
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Joke
by Marc Gatland in Sex and shit - Phone Sex - Added: 1 year, 4 months ago - Current Score: 82.2
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I saw an advert for a sex line that promised to make you cum in under sixty seconds so I gave it a call. The poor woman on the other end of the phone must have felt like a right amateur when it ended up taking two hours. |
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I was feeling horny so I rang up a bird I know for a bit of phone sex. As she answered I said, "Tell me you're not wearing any knickers." She said, "I actually am not wearing any knickers." I said, "Mmm yeah, tell me what you're doing." She replied, "Just having a shit." |
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Joke
by bumblesquash in Sex and shit - Phone Sex - Added: 1 year, 7 months ago - Current Score: 75.2
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I have a maths problem; If phone calls to Babestation cost £1.53 per minute and I spend 14 minutes on Saturday night, 19 minutes on Sunday night, 23 minutes on Wednesday night and 31 minutes on Friday night calling them how much will my wife scream at me when she sees the phone bill? |
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For a couple of months now, I've been getting to know a very friendly young lady who insists on calling me every evening for a chat. Earlier today, I plucked up the courage to ask her if I could masturbate to the sound of her sexy voice. I think that's the last I've heard of Anglian Windows. |
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I phoned one of those sex chat lines last night. A woman picked up the phone and purred, "Hello there big boy, you're through to slutty Susan and I'm here to do anything you want to give you pleasure." "You say anything I want?" I replied. "Well you can start by calling me back off your phone, this is costing me a fucking fortune." |
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I'm not stupid enough to pay for phone sex. But my boss on the other hand.... |
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by jack the gripper in Sex and shit - Phone Sex - Added: 1 year, 2 months ago - Current Score: 9.6
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My girlfriend hates it when I give her late night booty calls. Apparently, farting down the phone is "childish." |
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I was lying in bed with the missus when she suddenly started stroking my cock. "Someone's feeling a bit horny", I said. "What makes you think so, honey", she playfully answered. "I just got a text from my girlfriend. See you tomorrow". |
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Joke
by sam23 in Sex and shit - Adultery (+ 2 more) - Added: 1 year, 4 months ago - Current Score: 8
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