Jokes under Crime > Rape
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Why does John Leslie cry after sex? That's what mace does to you. |
 
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Joke
by Dandyboy in Sex and shit - Rape (+ 1 more) - Added: 5 years, 10 months ago - Current Score: 2,072.6
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If Harry Potter's so clever, why hasn't he put the magic potion, Rohypnolus Rapeum, into Hermione's drink? Gay bastard. |
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As a struggling actor I was thrilled when my agent phoned with an audition. "The part's made for you," he said. "They want someone your age, height and build with an accent like yours, and it's being filmed about 5 minutes from your house." "It sounds perfect!" I replied excitedly. "What is it?" "It's a Crimewatch rape reconstruction." "Erm... No... I'm busy that day..." |
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Joke
by Dog Botherer in Sex and shit - Rape (+ 2 more) - Added: 1 year, 2 months ago - Current Score: 663
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I'm the world's worst rapist. I was stalking this girl in the park. I had my handkerchief already soaked in chloroform, when suddenly she turned and looked at me. I nonchalantly pretended to blow my nose.......and woke up an hour later slumped over a park bench. |
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| Kobe Bryant.. putting the 'ape' into rape since August 23, 1978 |
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Joke
by sjf1001 in Sports - Basketball (+ 1 more) - Added: 4 years, 7 months ago - Current Score: 465.6
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Me and my mates saw this really fit bird in this club last night. We walked over to her and said, 'Is E the only letter next to F in the alphabet?' 'Or G?' she replied. And that, your honour, is why it should not count as gangrape. |
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Joke
by MayorMcAids in Sex and shit - Group Sex (+ 1 more) - Added: 1 year, 10 months ago - Current Score: 416.6
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As I followed the girl down the alleyway, I approached her from behind. Throwing her to the ground - breaking two of her ribs, I forcefully removed her knickers and raped her brutally while holding my knife to her neck. "You tell anyone about this, and I'll hunt you down you worthless slut," I said pulling up my jeans. "Cut! You've taken this too far," said the Crime Watch reconstruction director. |
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I was shagging this German girl last night. She didn't speak much English, but I think she wanted me to try out some more adventurous positions. I mean I've heard of a sixty-nine, but what sort of position is a nine nine nine nine nine? |
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You know you're good at sex when she tells her friends..... .....and her family......and the police. |
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Rape is a strong word. Not according to Hotmail when I try to use it as a password for my account. |
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