Jokes under Illness and mortality > Heart Attack
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I got a notification on my Facebook profile from the wife. 'Mike, my mum's had a heart attack. I've got no credit on my phone'... It suddenly became apparent what that 'Like' button is for. |
 
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Considering we've had a footballer, a marathon runner and now an Olympic swimmer suffer from heart attacks... ... being a fat fucker is starting to look like the healthy option for me. |
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Joke
by Cant Wank at Work in Illness and mortality - Obesity (+ 1 more) - Added: 1 year ago - Current Score: 169.2
| Fabrice Muamba has been sitting up, laughing and joking with his family. Till one of them reminded him he played football for Bolton. |
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Joke
by KerouacsDog in Celebrities - Footballers (+ 2 more) - Added: 1 year, 2 months ago - Current Score: 106.6
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I treated my last patient of the day, closed the surgery and walked into town for a quick pint. As I ordered a drink, a man collapsed at the other end of the bar, having a heart attack. His wife panicked, and in tears shouted, "Is there a doctor in the house?" Unfortunately for the man, there was nothing I could do to save him. If she'd asked if there was a doctor in the pub, my pedantry wouldn't have even come into it. |
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Joke
by Biscuit777 in Illness and mortality - Heart Attack - Added: 1 month, 26 days ago - Current Score: 93.2
| Fabrice Muamba gets out to watch a football match for the first time since being released from hospital and sees his team get hammered 4-1. Poor bloke, he must have been heartbroken. |
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My wife had a really sharp pain in her chest this morning, she thought she was having a heart attack. It turns out it was just a Dorito in her bra. |
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Joke
submitted by Unassigned, originally by twitter in Illness and mortality - Heart Attack - Added: 3 months ago - Current Score: 70.8
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So, Prince Philip has had an operation for Christmas. It's an old game, but still a classic |
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I just read on the back of a cigarette packet, "The risk of Coronary Heart Disease is reduced by 50% after 1 year of smoking abstinence" Does that mean I have to start first? |
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Joke
by smiddy in Illness and mortality - Heart Attack - Added: 4 years, 0 months ago - Current Score: 26
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My doctor told me that I had a heart condition today. He said, "You can get on buses, you can get on trains, but I'd advise that you do not fly". Who the fuck does he think I am, Superman? |
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We had a little family get together today for my son's birthday. The smiles on people's faces when my wife brought his birthday cake out were fabulous. But as soon as my son blew his candles out, my mother-in-law hit the floor holding her left arm, struggling to breathe. My son looked up to me a bit worried, but I just gave him a wink and whispered to him, "Thanks, mate". |
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Joke
by Unassigned in Illness and mortality - Heart Attack - Added: 2 years, 2 months ago - Current Score: 23.2
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