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Jokes under Celebrities > Sean Connery

74067
I went to a Roger Moore- James Bond party last night, and for a laugh I went as Sean Connery.

It certainly raised a few eyebrows.
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Joke by MICK THE MAG in Celebrities - Sean Connery - Added: 4 years, 5 months ago - Current Score: 462.8


1065
Sean Connery was interviewed by Michael Parkinson and bragged that, despite being 72 years of age, he could still have sex three times a night.

Cilla Black, who was also a guest, looked intrigued.

After the show, Cilla says, "Sean, if I'm not bein too forward, I'd luv to 'ave sex with yer. Lets go back to my 'ouse, we could 'ave a lorra fun."

So they went back to her place and got comfortable.

After a couple of drinks they went off to [...]

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Joke by sick puppy in Sex and shit - Fucking (+ 1 more) - Added: 5 years, 11 months ago - Current Score: 255.4




8796
Sean Connery's agent calls him up. "Sean Baby, I'm so sorry to call you when your on holiday but I've got a crackerjack offer for you, you can't miss this. I've set up an audition for you at the studio in LA, just be there for tennish."
"Tennish?" says Sean. "But I don't have a racquet."
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Joke by Unassigned in Celebrities - Sean Connery - Added: 5 years, 7 months ago - Current Score: 235.4


1190861
Does Sean Connery like Herbs?

Yes, but only partially.
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Joke submitted by jackthejipper, originally by @mooseallain in Celebrities - Sean Connery - Added: 1 year, 4 months ago - Current Score: 153.8


1254429
I asked Sean Connery who the Aston Villa goalkeeper was.

He said, "Shay Given."

I said, "Given."
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Joke submitted by adamscott, originally by https://twitter.com/cluedont/status/182801751118856192 in Celebrities - Sean Connery - Added: 1 year, 2 months ago - Current Score: 90.6


896147
Business news today announces that Sean Connery has started selling off his brother's daughters. Apparently he sees it as a Niche market I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by jimmyrimmer in Celebrities - Sean Connery - Added: 2 years, 2 months ago - Current Score: 77.8


324082
When I was younger my mum took me to see Sean Connery. It was a great day and to remember it my mum said we should get a picture. He agreed and told me, "How about if you shit on my lap?"

The picture now hangs on my wall with my turd on his lap and Sean looking disgusted and confused.
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Joke by Chicken616 in Celebrities - Sean Connery - Added: 3 years, 4 months ago - Current Score: 73.4


889216
Sean Connery was outspoken at a press conference today about the state of the porn industry in Japan, at least I think he was ...

"Ladiesh and Gentlemen, we musht do everything in our power to shave the Japanese ..."
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Joke by gone again in Celebrities - Sean Connery (+ 1 more) - Added: 2 years, 2 months ago - Current Score: 29.4


949867
I started work today as Sean Connery's chauffeur,

He's been sitting on me for three hours now.
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Joke by Fuckdat in Celebrities - Sean Connery - Added: 2 years, 0 months ago - Current Score: 27.6


920234
I heard Sean Connery had a bad time as a parent...

His problems started every time he told his kids to sit on the naughty step.
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Joke by Aspen in Celebrities - Sean Connery - Added: 2 years, 1 month ago - Current Score: 26



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