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Jokes under Sports > Weightlifting

1337937
I said to my mate, "I watched the Olympic Weightlifting Competition."

He said, "The men's or women's?"

I said, "I haven't got a fucking clue."
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Joke by stash in Sports - Olympics (+ 1 more) - Added: 9 months ago - Current Score: 313


1215891
My local gym have an offer on at the moment. Pay for a one-to-one with a fitness instructor and get a free protein drink.

Well I'm not falling for that one again.
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Joke by jamesdonlan in Sports - Weightlifting - Added: 1 year, 3 months ago - Current Score: 161.2




1426118
I was pumping some iron in the gym yesterday, when the trainer pointed out that the hole in the weights was supposed to be for attaching them to a bar. I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by geebee in Sports - Weightlifting - Added: 3 months, 29 days ago - Current Score: 127.2


828390
Gently pull back the material covering your desire,
Slowly plunge your fingers inside the pink flesh
Start to rub up and down, gradually building speed
Softly place your tongue in the tight gap,
Carefully lick the full length of the orifice and use your teeth to gently tease it loose,
Lovingly enter your penis and thrust backwards and forwards until the juices start to flow,
Pull out quickly and empty your load on the soft supple skin above the cavity. < [...]

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Joke by possiblepervert in Sex and shit - Oral Sex (+ 2 more) - Added: 2 years, 4 months ago - Current Score: 59.2


1055865
Just did 100 pull ups today

This new belt is shit!
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Joke by cianz182 in Sports - Weightlifting (+ 1 more) - Added: 1 year, 9 months ago - Current Score: 36.6


189808
My brother asked me if I could give him a lift to the gym and back today.

Well done Pete. You really have nailed the concept of going to the gym right on the fucking head.
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Joke by Unassigned in Sports - Weightlifting - Added: 3 years, 8 months ago - Current Score: 21


702547
How is a six-pack like an iPhone?

If someone has one, you can be sure they're going to show you it.
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Joke by Colonel_Catchphrase in Sports - Weightlifting - Added: 2 years, 7 months ago - Current Score: 13


1468908
Fed up of being Fat and Ugly ?

Join my Gym and just be Ugly
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Joke by SinclairZX80 in Sports - Weightlifting - Added: 1 week ago - Current Score: 9.6


1281945
I asked my mate what he thought of my wife.

"Well, to be honest", he said, "she's ugly as fuck".

I don't think she'll ever invite him for tea again.
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Joke by sam23 in Other - Stupid (+ 1 more) - Added: 1 year ago - Current Score: 9.2


531392
What's a weights bench and a gaming chair got in common?

Both are used by large, desperate, antisocial cunts with freakishly strong wrists.
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Joke by fistheadx36 in Other - Video Games (+ 2 more) - Added: 2 years, 10 months ago - Current Score: 7



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