Jokes under Other > Insults
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True Story. I work at a McDonald's and a woman came in and ordered... 2 Big Mac Meals - Extra Large , for herself - but hold the mayo because she was on a diet Fat Bitch ================================================= Best laugh I've had all day, cheers. Didn't really read past the 'I work at McDonald's bit' though. |
 
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My girlfriend told me I suffer from a lack of imagination. I said, "Yeah? Well you suffer from a lack of imagination." That showed her. |
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My dad always used to say, "If you can't laugh at yourself, who can you laugh at?" After visiting Sickipedia I see the obvious answer is blacks, the handicapped, and the dead. |
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Scottish insults:
She had a fanny like a stab wound in a gorilla's back Look's like she's been dooking for apples in a chip pan Had more hands up her than Sooty! She's got a face like a dog lickin piss off a nettle It looks like she's been set on fire and put out with a golf shoe! She's got a face that could make an onion cry. I wouldn't ride her into battle. Everyone has a right to be ugly, b [...] |
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The other day I was out in town when some chavs started on me, threatening to beat me up. "Do you know who my dad is?" one of them asked. "No," I replied. "Do you?" |
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Joke
submitted by owmyhead, originally by Shaft (2000) in Other - Insults - Added: 2 years, 5 months ago - Current Score: 1,087
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Today during dinner my son had hardly touched his plate and the wife said, "Think of the poor children in Africa, Kyle" He said back to her, "Do they have to eat this shite too?" High fiving didn't impress her too much either. |
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Joke
by HardTailBadAss in Sex and shit - Nagging (+ 1 more) - Added: 3 years, 5 months ago - Current Score: 967.8
| If I had a pound for every time someone called me a cunt, I'd buy an iPhone. |
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Joke
by alimalekalimalekalimalek in Other - Insults - Added: 2 years, 8 months ago - Current Score: 829.2
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My mate was taking the piss out of me for believing anything he told me and said if I looked in the dictionary under gullible there'd be a picture of me, He's not such a clever fucker as I checked and he's totally wrong about that. |
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"I love you loads, honeypie." My wife said earlier. "And I love you tons." I replied. "What, no nickname for me?" She asked, disappointed. Sometimes I swear the fat cow's going deaf. |
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A young boy is out riding his brand new bicycle when he is stopped by a police officer riding a horse. The policeman says to the boy, "Did Santa Claus bring you that new bike for Christmas?"
The boy says, "He sure did." The policeman responds by saying with a grin, "Well next year, tell Santa to bring you a taillight for that bike. Here's a bicycle safety violation ticket for $25." The boy asks the cop, "So did Santa bring you tha [...] |
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