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Jokes under Other > Insults

171239
True Story.

I work at a McDonald's and a woman came in and ordered... 2 Big Mac Meals - Extra Large , for herself - but hold the mayo because she was on a diet

Fat Bitch

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Best laugh I've had all day, cheers. Didn't really read past the 'I work at McDonald's bit' though.
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Joke by slash912 in Other - Insults - Added: 3 years, 9 months ago - Current Score: 1,599.2


371113
My girlfriend told me I suffer from a lack of imagination.

I said, "Yeah? Well you suffer from a lack of imagination."

That showed her.
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Joke by spiritleader in Other - Insults - Added: 3 years, 2 months ago - Current Score: 1,515.6




188192
My dad always used to say, "If you can't laugh at yourself, who can you laugh at?"

After visiting Sickipedia I see the obvious answer is blacks, the handicapped, and the dead.
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Joke by Nikorasu in Other - Insults - Added: 3 years, 8 months ago - Current Score: 1,494.2


28006
Scottish insults:

She had a fanny like a stab wound in a gorilla's back

Look's like she's been dooking for apples in a chip pan

Had more hands up her than Sooty!

She's got a face like a dog lickin piss off a nettle

It looks like she's been set on fire and put out with a golf shoe!

She's got a face that could make an onion cry.

I wouldn't ride her into battle.

Everyone has a right to be ugly, b [...]

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Joke by chris732 in Other - Insults - Added: 5 years, 0 months ago - Current Score: 1,111.2


771456
The other day I was out in town when some chavs started on me, threatening to beat me up.

"Do you know who my dad is?" one of them asked.

"No," I replied. "Do you?"
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Joke submitted by owmyhead, originally by Shaft (2000) in Other - Insults - Added: 2 years, 5 months ago - Current Score: 1,087


285690
Today during dinner my son had hardly touched his plate and the wife said, "Think of the poor children in Africa, Kyle"
He said back to her, "Do they have to eat this shite too?"
High fiving didn't impress her too much either.
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Joke by HardTailBadAss in Sex and shit - Nagging (+ 1 more) - Added: 3 years, 5 months ago - Current Score: 967.8


671472
If I had a pound for every time someone called me a cunt, I'd buy an iPhone. I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by alimalekalimalekalimalek in Other - Insults - Added: 2 years, 8 months ago - Current Score: 829.2


420171
My mate was taking the piss out of me for believing anything he told me and said if I looked in the dictionary under gullible there'd be a picture of me,

He's not such a clever fucker as I checked and he's totally wrong about that.
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Joke by goonerphil in Other - Insults - Added: 3 years, 0 months ago - Current Score: 798.2


1397549
"I love you loads, honeypie." My wife said earlier.

"And I love you tons." I replied.

"What, no nickname for me?" She asked, disappointed.


Sometimes I swear the fat cow's going deaf.
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Joke by oor wullie in Other - Insults - Added: 5 months ago - Current Score: 736


5416
A young boy is out riding his brand new bicycle when he is stopped by a police officer riding a horse. The policeman says to the boy, "Did Santa Claus bring you that new bike for Christmas?"

The boy says, "He sure did." The policeman responds by saying with a grin, "Well next year, tell Santa to bring you a taillight for that bike. Here's a bicycle safety violation ticket for $25."

The boy asks the cop, "So did Santa bring you tha [...]

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Joke by Cleveland in Other - Insults - Added: 5 years, 8 months ago - Current Score: 544.8



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