Jokes under Celebrities > Prince Philip

Found this online and it has convinced me that Prince Philip is a founding member of Sickipedia, it's a list of many of his politically correct one-liners:

# "Still throwing spears?" (Question put to an Australian Aborigine during a visit in March 2002)
# "If a cricketer, for instance, suddenly decided to go into a school and batter a lot of people to death with a cricket bat, which he could do very easily, I mean, are you going to ban cricket bats?" (in 1 [...]

Found this online and it has convinced me that Prince Philip is a founding member of Sickipedia, it's a list of many of his politically correct one-liners:

# "Still throwing spears?" (Question put to an Australian Aborigine during a visit in March 2002)
# "If a cricketer, for instance, suddenly decided to go into a school and batter a lot of people to death with a cricket bat, which he could do very easily, I mean, are you going to ban cricket bats?" (in 1996, amid calls to ban firearms after the Dunblane shooting)
# "How do you keep the natives off the booze long enough to get them through the test?" (Speaking to a driving instructor in Oban, Scotland)
# "It looks as if it was put in by an Indian." (in 1999, referring to an old-fashioned fuse box in a factory near Edinburgh)
# "You are a woman, aren't you?" (in 1984, in Kenya, to a native woman who had presented him with a small gift)
# "You can't have been here that long - you haven't got a pot belly." (in 1993, to a Briton in Budapest, Hungary)
# "Aren't most of you descended from pirates?" (in 1994, to an islander in the Cayman Islands)
# "You managed not to get eaten, then?" (in 1998, to a student who had been trekking in Papua New Guinea)
# "If it has got four legs and it is not a chair, if it has got two wings and it flies but is not an aeroplane, and if it swims and it is not a submarine, the Cantonese will eat it." (at a 1986 World Wildlife Fund meeting)
# "Brazilians live there” (On key problems facing Brazil)
# "Do you know they have eating dogs for the anorexic now?" (Sharing a joke with a blind, wheelchair-bound girl with a guide-dog)
# "In the event that I am reincarnated, I would like to return as a deadly virus, in order to contribute something to solve overpopulation."
# 'Ever been on a plane before? It was just like that.' (To the leader of Paraguay when asked how his flight was)
# 'Deaf? I'm not surprised with that bloody racket!' (To a class of deaf children sat next to a brass band)
# 'Do you have a licence for that?' (To a man in a motorized wheelchair)
# 'If you stay here much longer you'll all be slitty-eyed.' (To British students in China during Royal visit there in 1986.)

The man should get a medal or something.

So then, Diversity won Britains Got Talent.

And they will meet the Queen and Prince Philip.

Odds for Phils comments to them after the show, according to Ladbrokes

100-30 "Did you boys leave your spears at home?"

2-1 "Where's Madonna?"

5-2 "Hello Shaun, how's Mark Hughes treating you?"

6-1 "I haven't seen anyone throw kids around that well since Gary Glitter did a show at the palac [...]

So then, Diversity won Britains Got Talent.

And they will meet the Queen and Prince Philip.

Odds for Phils comments to them after the show, according to Ladbrokes

100-30 "Did you boys leave your spears at home?"

2-1 "Where's Madonna?"

5-2 "Hello Shaun, how's Mark Hughes treating you?"

6-1 "I haven't seen anyone throw kids around that well since Gary Glitter did a show at the palace"

8-1 "So you've met Simon Cowell, he's a cunt isn't he?"

8-1 "I love those Welsh chaps Ant and Dec"

10-1 "Like most people my age, I'm 86"

12-1 "Statistically, most of you will enjoy gang rape"

15-1 "Which one of you fuckers has my wallet?"

20-1 "Ah, there you are. Well go on, the floors don't clean themselves!"

32-1 "It's lucky the lights are on in here isn't it?"

35-1 "So which one of you is the the tribal chief"

40-1 "I bet it costs you a fucking fortune in bananas to feed this fucking lot"

50-1 "You never did this much dancing about in the old PG Tips adverts"

100-1 "I walked into a library, and I said 'Fuck off you niggers'"

The Queen and Prince Philip are talking.

Queen: Philip, one has come to a monumental decision.

Philip: Not again Liz! Last time you did that we ended up having Edward.

Queen: No! I'm going to dissolve parliament, all these money grabbing bastards running the country.

Philip: What! Who is going to bloody run it then?

Queen: We are. The whole family!

Philip: What like the fucking Mafia?

Queen: Look you can r [...]

The Queen and Prince Philip are talking.

Queen: Philip, one has come to a monumental decision.

Philip: Not again Liz! Last time you did that we ended up having Edward.

Queen: No! I'm going to dissolve parliament, all these money grabbing bastards running the country.

Philip: What! Who is going to bloody run it then?

Queen: We are. The whole family!

Philip: What like the fucking Mafia?

Queen: Look you can run the Foreign Office, you're good with Jonny foreigner.

Philip: True.

Queen: And we have natural leaders for every job in the cabinet - Charles can handle the environment, Zara can do sport and of course Harry can handle immigration policy!

Philip: Actually on reflection it's a great idea!

Queen: Too right it is. Now Windsor or Balmoral?

Philip: What about them?

Queen: For the second home allowance!