Jokes under TV > Crime
| See if the guys on The Real Hustle are so good at scamming, how come they haven't devised a way to make Jess get her tits out? |
 
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As a struggling actor I was thrilled when my agent phoned with an audition. "The part's made for you," he said. "They want someone your age, height and build with an accent like yours, and it's being filmed about 5 minutes from your house." "It sounds perfect!" I replied excitedly. "What is it?" "It's a Crimewatch rape reconstruction." "Erm... No... I'm busy that day..." |
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Joke
by Dog Botherer in Sex and shit - Rape (+ 2 more) - Added: 1 year, 2 months ago - Current Score: 663
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I'm making a show about two detectives who solve crimes over the phone. Star Key and Hash |
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A young lad was kicking his ball against my fence. I walked out and said, "It's lads like you that end up on Crimewatch." "Yeah, right!" he laughed, kicking even harder. He realised I was right half an hour later, lying in a ditch as I poured petrol over his broken body. |
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Joke
by mrbrewer in Illness and mortality - Death (+ 1 more) - Added: 4 months ago - Current Score: 182.8
| There are so many black rapists and robbers on Crimewatch, the BBC have decided to rename the show Name that Coon. |
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I was disappointed by the British version of Breaking Bad. It ends after he gets cancer and all his treatment is paid for by the NHS. |
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"Rip off Britain" is not only a TV programme. Unfortunately it's also the motto of the immigrant community. |
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When watching The Real Hustle, are you the type of person that says "Oh my God, how awful, that could happen to me"? Or are you the type of person that sits there for a moment before saying "... You know what? I could fucking do that to someone" ... Thought so |
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Joke
by chr1s p bacon in Crime - Fraud (+ 1 more) - Added: 3 years, 9 months ago - Current Score: 33.4
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Some black bloke has just tried to sell me an electric wall mirror in the pub.... I said "Thats not a mirror you thick cunt....It's a 42" Plasma TV and you've got Crimewatch on !" |
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Just watched Crimewatch on the BBC, and really enjoyed it. Can't wait for an English edition. |
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