Jokes under Sex and shit > Adoption
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I'm adopted, and I'm glad my parents were at least honest enough to tell me. But why everyday? |
 
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Joke
by MICK THE MAG in Sex and shit - Adoption - Added: 4 years, 4 months ago - Current Score: 995.4
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I couldn't believe it when my 19-year old son won the lottery and didn't want anything to do with me when I rang to congratulate him. His foster family have obviously raised him to be a right tight cunt. |
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My children came up nervously to me and asked the awkward question about adoption. I looked at them and said with a smile, "Don't worry, there's no chance whatsoever of any of you being adopted." My job at the orphanage is now under question. |
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I smoke far too many cigarettes these days and it's affecting the kids' health, so I'm giving them up. Anyone recommend a decent adoption agency? |
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I listened as this couple discussed the options before them. "Shall we go for yellow again?" she asked. "I was thinking of something darker, maybe a light brown, you know, to match the curtains," he replied. "We could try something really dark, what about black this time?" she asked again. It was at that point I asked Mr Pitt and Ms Jolie to continue their discussion outside of the orphanage. |
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| The only thing worse than finding out you were given up for adoption would be finding out it was Rick Astley who gave you up. |
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Joke
by misterplod in Sex and shit - Adoption (+ 2 more) - Added: 2 years, 6 months ago - Current Score: 138.4
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As soon as my girlfriend told me that she was pregnant, I vowed that my child would be brought up in a stable household with two loving, married parents. I do hope he gets on well with the couple who adopted him. |
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A middle-aged American lady came up to my table today. "I feel lucky," she said, calmly placing $20,000 down. "Black, three," she added. I'd never seen so much money. "Black, three," I repeated. I then began to set the wheels in motion, "Thank you Madonna," I said, picking up the telephone. "This will certainly help persuade the Malawian adoption agencies." |
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Joke
by emptyhead in Sex and shit - Adoption (+ 1 more) - Added: 1 year, 7 months ago - Current Score: 127.2
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It was my parents 40th wedding anniversary last week and they were telling me that they're starting to feel really old. I told them that it's never too late in life to do things that you've always wanted to do. So they've put me up for adoption. |
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Joke
by MICK THE MAG in Sex and shit - Adoption - Added: 4 years, 4 months ago - Current Score: 114.2
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My wife said we would have to make some sacrifices now that the baby is born. I took her advice and put it up for adoption. |
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