Jokes under Crime > ??? General
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I'm going to go rob a bank tomorrow.
I plan on dressing up in a clown wig and make up and only wearing a thong and nipple tassels. I'll carry a goat and a can of fluorescent paint in one arm and, while in the bank, I'm going to fuck the goat and throw the paint over the walls, all the time ripping up pages of a phonebook and swearing my head off. After getting the money, I'll take a shit on the floor and piss everywhere. I then will escape in a van shaped like a giant pink cock. [...] |
 
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Black man walks into a bar.... Well, that's what I told the police. |
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Joke
by Trucker in Racism - Black (+ 1 more) - Added: 4 years, 10 months ago - Current Score: 1,329.2
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I forgot to put the seat belt on my five-year-old boy this morning. As we were leaving the car park, somebody shouted, "You are an irresponsible father!" I said, "Who the fuck was that? Stop the car, son." |
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I recently saved a ton of money on my car insurance. By fleeing the scene of the accident. |
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| The Metropolitan Police have said they are looking for a black man in his 20's.........and always will be. |
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Joke
by sickinthehead14 in Racism - Black (+ 1 more) - Added: 3 years, 4 months ago - Current Score: 765.6
| If a tree falls in the woods and nobody hears it, then my illegal logging business is a success. |
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Joke
by blahhhhh in Crime - ??? General (+ 1 more) - Added: 3 years, 10 months ago - Current Score: 641.6
| If you were born in Gotham City and your first name is 'The', there's a good chance you'll turn out to be a villain. |
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Joke
submitted by milkybarkid, originally by @_L_M_C_ in Crime - ??? General - Added: 2 years, 0 months ago - Current Score: 631.4
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The judge says to a double-homicide defendant, "You're charged with beating your wife to death with a hammer."
A voice at the back of the courtroom yells out, "You bastard!" The judge says, "You're also charged with beating your mother-in-law to death with a hammer." The voice in the back of the courtroom yells out, "You bastard!" The judge stops and says to the guy in the back of the courtroo [...] |
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People who are opposed to bringing back capital punishment, often argue that the death penalty has no effect on re-offending rates. I couldn't agree more. I've lost count of the number of times I've been mugged by a corpse. |
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Joke
by nabmohs1 in Other - Wordplay (+ 2 more) - Added: 3 years, 8 months ago - Current Score: 564.6
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The George Michael Diaries - September 2010 Day 1) Woke up and was forced to suck off another man. Went for a shower and got raped by 2 blokes...one of whom was black. Finished the night off with a few hand jobs for some of the guys and I let one handsome bloke give me a blow job. Day 2) Got found guilty and jailed for driving under the influence of drugs |
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Joke
by firemanrob78 in Crime - ??? General (+ 1 more) - Added: 2 years, 8 months ago - Current Score: 557.6
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