Jokes under Illness and mortality > Bones
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My 9 year old son broke both his legs after a terrible trampolining accident yesterday. The things you have to do when you can't afford a new bike for his Christmas present. |
 
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Joke
by PoloHole in Crime - Child Abuse (+ 1 more) - Added: 3 years, 5 months ago - Current Score: 608.8
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Sticks and stones may break my bones. Because I have Osteoporosis. |
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Joke
by ThePhoenix in Other - Wordplay (+ 1 more) - Added: 2 years, 10 months ago - Current Score: 429
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I used to think my son was a Transformer, but then he was diagnosed with brittle bones disease and epilepsy. |
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Joke
by harrison mcfartlett in Illness and mortality - Bones - Added: 1 year ago - Current Score: 139.2
| Broken arms: Painful, but humerus |
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Joke
by ffc2004 in Other - One Liner (+ 1 more) - Added: 4 years, 11 months ago - Current Score: 127.2
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I heard that if you had a pair of ribs removed you could suck yourself off. It was only after the operation that I discovered that it should have been the bottom pair. Still, at least I can suck my nipples now. |
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Joke
by Unassigned in Sex and shit - Blow Job (+ 1 more) - Added: 2 years, 9 months ago - Current Score: 42.2
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A new survey says that cannabis could protect bones from weakening later in life. So, it's ideal for joints. Surely we don't need a fucking survey to tell us that. |
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Joke
by stevo21 in Illness and mortality - Bones (+ 1 more) - Added: 3 years, 8 months ago - Current Score: 42
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I felt a bit out of my league meeting my girlfriend's upper-class parents "Do you like any sport?" I asked as an ice breaker. "I've always struggled with polo" replied her mother. "Yeah" I laughed, "bunch of retards with sticks if you ask me" Unfortunately she'd said polio. |
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Joke
by swampy123 in Illness and mortality - Bones - Added: 1 year, 10 months ago - Current Score: 29.2
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From the day I was born, I was bad to the bone. Osteoporosis is a bitch. |
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Joke
by jibjab in Illness and mortality - Bones - Added: 2 years, 9 months ago - Current Score: 22.8
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My wife phoned, "Your son broke his leg playing for the school football team today." ''How the fuck did that happen?'' I asked. ''Must have been a bad tackle.'' she said. ''No, I mean how did he get picked,'' I replied, ''He's fucking shit!'' |
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I was having a row with my brother the other week, when I lost my rag and told him he was twisted. He called me a twat and actually tried to get up and punch me. I didn't realise spina bifida made you such a cunt. |
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Joke
by Unassigned in Illness and mortality - Bones - Added: 3 years, 7 months ago - Current Score: 19.2
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