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Jokes under Other > Food and Drink

248811
Now the racists and rapists
And open prison escapists
Were just passing by.

And the grabby types,
The Maddie types,
Who want to be a Daddy types
Were just passing by.

And the mug-you types,
And thug-you types
And like to have sex by drug-you types
Were just passing by.

Those on their own,
Fucking the phone
With squinty eyes looking like a clone
Were just passing by.
[...]

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Joke by ayupduck in Other - Food and Drink (+ 1 more) - Added: 3 years, 7 months ago - Current Score: 3,550.2


47923
Going to McDonald's for a salad?
That makes about as much sense as going to a crack-house for vitamins.
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Joke by mycockisbiggerthanyours in Other - Food and Drink - Added: 4 years, 10 months ago - Current Score: 3,138.2




621463
I was eating my tea last night when I suddenly thought to myself, "This milk must be seriously out of date." I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by Marc Gatland in Other - Food and Drink - Added: 2 years, 10 months ago - Current Score: 2,367.8


929000
I was at my mate's stag night yesterday, when he and his brother handed me a glass full of yellow, lukewarm liquid.
"Drink it," they said, giggling. It was only when I smelt it that I realised the prank the bastards were trying to pull.

Fosters.
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Joke by weehec in Other - Food and Drink - Added: 2 years, 2 months ago - Current Score: 1,723.8


724106
I walked into a pub and said to the barman, "Stella please mate."

He said, "Are you 18?"

I said, "No."

He said, "I can't serve you then."

As I walked out I thought to myself, "This is the fourth pub - what does a 22 year old have to do to get a pint round here?"
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Joke by grrreat in Other - Food and Drink - Added: 2 years, 7 months ago - Current Score: 1,447.2


148702
NEWS FLASH: Unofficial reports that Pop is dead!

The world's thoughts are with Snap and Crackle at this tough time.
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Joke by MaddyMcCann in Other - Food and Drink - Added: 4 years, 0 months ago - Current Score: 1,338


46283
People can be so 'in your face' these days. Only last night a complete stranger asked me if I preferred legs or breasts.

I told him that, actually, I liked hairy fannies, but it turned out that this wasn't an option with the KFC bargain bucket.
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Joke by cooperman in Other - Food and Drink - Added: 4 years, 10 months ago - Current Score: 1,320.4


1039686
Similar to Willy Wonka putting 5 golden tickets into bars of chocolate, Walkers have started a new competition where they have placed 5 crisps into their bags of air. I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by leedaman666 in Other - Food and Drink (+ 2 more) - Added: 1 year, 11 months ago - Current Score: 1,125


254485
I was in McDonald's and this fit young girl took my order.

"I can make it large for you for an extra 30p," she said sweetly.

"You already have, love" I replied, "so how about a wank for a pound?"
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Joke by drof in Other - Food and Drink (+ 2 more) - Added: 3 years, 7 months ago - Current Score: 1,092.4


778986
I remember my teacher telling me that looking out of the window wouldn't get me anywhere.

Did I have a smug look on my face later on in life when I handed him his burger and fries at the drive through.
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Joke by Odin in Other - Food and Drink (+ 1 more) - Added: 2 years, 6 months ago - Current Score: 1,070.8



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