Jokes under Sex and shit > Unprotected Sex
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I have just been to the doctor's 'cause I was worried I had caught something from a hooker I just fucked. He said, "Hmm yes, you seem to have some unusual vaginal discharge..." I interrupted, "Let me just stop you there, Doc. I am a guy, how the fuck can I have unusual vaginal discharge." He said, "It's dripping down your chin." |
 
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Joke
by bumblesquash in Sex and shit - Unprotected Sex - Added: 2 years, 9 months ago - Current Score: 174.2
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Last night me and my girlfriend ended up having a rare night of unprotected sex. The next day she told me she was nervous about becoming pregnant. So I told her that maybe she should go to Boots and pick up the morning after pill. She said to me, "Yeah, but it's the afternoon now" What the fuck am I still doing with this woman. |
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Joke
by akh1987 in Sex and shit - Unprotected Sex - Added: 3 years, 6 months ago - Current Score: 72.2
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My son came downstairs topless and said "Check me out. This body didn't happen by accident" "Actually, yes it did, you can check with your mother", I replied |
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Joke
by Unassigned in Sex and shit - Unprotected Sex - Added: 1 year, 9 months ago - Current Score: 40
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What's the biggest turn off about having sex with a hot girl? The pain in your ears when she's shouting 'rape' |
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Joke
by heromclegend in Religion - Hell (+ 2 more) - Added: 3 years, 1 month ago - Current Score: 23.8
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I didn't scream out someone else's name during sex.. I was just thinking of baby names in case you get pregnant. |
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Coughs and sneezes spread diseases. According to the test results and the messages on my phone from two distraught girls, apparently so does my cock. |
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Joke
by Unassigned in Sex and shit - Sex Clinic (+ 1 more) - Added: 2 years, 9 months ago - Current Score: 20.4
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Thousands of teenage girls up and down the country will spend tonight crying after getting their results. I've got HIV. |
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Joke
by Teddywoop in Sex and shit - Unprotected Sex - Added: 1 year, 9 months ago - Current Score: 12.2
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The four greatest words in the English language. "I'm on the pill." |
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Joke
by PoloHole in Sex and shit - Unprotected Sex - Added: 3 years, 4 months ago - Current Score: 10.4
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I had unprotected sex with my girlfriend and after I came I suddenly realised that she's got no pills left. To ensure she wouldn't get pregnant, I did the honourable thing. I immediately licked her clean out. |
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Joke
by James Wallace in Sex and shit - Unprotected Sex - Added: 3 years, 0 months ago - Current Score: 9.8
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After meeting a gorgeous blonde last night, I took her home and had sex with her. After we finished she said that I was shit in bed. How the fuck does she know after 20 seconds? |
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Joke
by Chris221 in Sex and shit - Dating (+ 2 more) - Added: 1 year, 11 months ago - Current Score: 9.6
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