Jokes under Other > Oxymoron

Think about it
---------------------------------

I had amnesia once - or twice.

Protons have mass? I didn't even know they were Catholic.

All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.

I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.

If the world was a logical place, men would ride horses sidesaddle.

What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free?

They [...]

Think about it
---------------------------------

I had amnesia once - or twice.

Protons have mass? I didn't even know they were Catholic.

All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.

I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.

If the world was a logical place, men would ride horses sidesaddle.

What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free?

They told me I was gullible .. and I believed them.

Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home and, when he grows
up, he'll never be able to edge his car onto a freeway.

Two can live as cheaply as one, for half as long.

Experience is the thing you have left when everything else is gone.

What if there were no hypothetical questions?

One nice thing about egotists: They don't talk about other people.

When the only tool you own is a hammer, every problem begins to look like a nail.

A flashlight is a carrying case for dead batteries.

What was the greatest thing before sliced bread?

I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.

The cost of living hasn't affected its popularity.

How can there be self-help "groups"?

Is there another word for synonym?

Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all"?

Is it possible to be totally partial?

Is Marx's tomb a communist plot?

If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?

Show me a man with both feet firmly on the ground, and I'll show you a
man who can't get his pants off.

It's not an optical illusion. It just looks like one.

Is it my imagination, or do buffalo wings taste like chicken?

Mysteries of life - the imponderables

If one synchronised swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?
If practice makes perfect and nobody's perfect, then why practice?
What should you do if you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?
Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavour, and dish-washing liquid made with real lemons?
Why do the signs that say 'slow children' have a picture of a running child?
If the opposite of pro is [...]

Mysteries of life - the imponderables

If one synchronised swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?
If practice makes perfect and nobody's perfect, then why practice?
What should you do if you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?
Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavour, and dish-washing liquid made with real lemons?
Why do the signs that say 'slow children' have a picture of a running child?
If the opposite of pro is con, does that make congress the opposite of progress?
If a rabbit's foot is so lucky, what happened to the rabbit?
How do the 'Do Not Walk On The Grass' signs get there?
Why is abbreviation such a long word?

I saw this posted by some yank:

"I was explaining to my students that an oxymoron is a figure of speech that combines two contradictory terms. I used the term 'Great Britain' as an example and they all clearly understood."

The funniest thing about this joke is the fact that he expects us to believe that a class full of fat, lazy, inbred retards would understand the words 'combine' and 'contradictory'.

Here's an Oxymoron for you: 'White house [...]

I saw this posted by some yank:

"I was explaining to my students that an oxymoron is a figure of speech that combines two contradictory terms. I used the term 'Great Britain' as an example and they all clearly understood."

The funniest thing about this joke is the fact that he expects us to believe that a class full of fat, lazy, inbred retards would understand the words 'combine' and 'contradictory'.

Here's an Oxymoron for you: 'White house'.