Jokes under Other > Neighbours
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"How's the flat you're living in in London, Jock?" asks his mother when he calls home to Aberdeen. "It's okay," he replies, "but the woman next door keeps screaming and crying all night and the guy on the other side keeps banging his head on the wall." "Never you mind," says his mother, "don't you let them get to you, just ignore them." "Aye, that I do," he says, "I just keep playing my bagpipes." |
 
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Joke
by johnboy in Racism - Scottish (+ 1 more) - Added: 5 years, 4 months ago - Current Score: 1,187.2
| My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn't take it out of my garden. |
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Joke
submitted by Zarr, originally by Chic Murray in Other - Neighbours - Added: 4 years, 0 months ago - Current Score: 523.4
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What's the one word beginning with N and ending with R that you don't want to call a black person? "Neighbour!" |
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Joke
by leisuresuitlee in Racism - Black (+ 1 more) - Added: 6 years, 0 months ago - Current Score: 516.8
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I was in my garden relaxing when a passer-by called me "Scruffy council house scum". I wanted to grip the cunt, but tripped on a mattress and banged my head on a dis-used washing machine. |
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Joke
submitted by megaman meatball, originally by Stu Taylor in Other - Neighbours - Added: 3 years, 0 months ago - Current Score: 441.6
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Ever since those so called Obamas have got in, I keep reading about how they're going to be the next Kennedys. As far as I'm concerned, no one can replace Karl and Susan from Neighbours. |
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Joke
by MICK THE MAG in Celebrities - Barack Obama (+ 1 more) - Added: 3 years, 10 months ago - Current Score: 433.6
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I just got skylights put in my place. The woman upstairs is furious. |
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Joke
submitted by mickle, originally by Steven Wright in Other - Neighbours - Added: 5 years, 1 month ago - Current Score: 369
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I was having a furious wank last night and woke the neighbours. Suppose I shouldn't really have been in their bedroom. |
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Joke
by ayupduck in Other - Neighbours (+ 1 more) - Added: 3 years, 11 months ago - Current Score: 318.2
| Why is it that beds used in porno never make a noise but I so much as have a wank in mine and even the neighbours are knocking on the wall? |
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My next door Neighbour's Daughter said that when she gets older she wants to marry me. I was touched. A few minutes later, so was she. |
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I'd love to have seen my neighbour's face when she saw my dick. Unfortunately that's not a luxury you have when you're dangling it through her letterbox. |
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