Jokes under Celebrities > The Queen
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I heard the Queen's got diarrhoea Nobody will have seen royal skidmarks as bad as this since that tunnel in Paris. |
 
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Joke
submitted by DMcNumber8, originally by Jimmy Carr in Celebrities - The Queen - Added: 3 months ago - Current Score: 443.6
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The thing I hate most of all about Christmas is the Queen's speech. I still watch it every year though. Cock in hand, awaiting that elusive tit slip. |
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Joke
by sick.fucker in Events - Christmas (+ 2 more) - Added: 2 years, 6 months ago - Current Score: 390.2
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I don't see why people are getting so upset at David Cameron's plans to reform the UK housing benefit system. Personally I'm all in favour of evicting people who don't work for a living and expect the taxpayer to support them in homes that they would otherwise be unable to afford. Starting with The Queen. |
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Joke
by ray piste in Politics - Conservatives (+ 1 more) - Added: 2 years, 8 months ago - Current Score: 376
| Bees. Recreate that wonderful British lifestyle simply by working your arse off day and night while the queen does fuck all. |
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Joke
by TurtlesBreath in Celebrities - The Queen - Added: 2 years, 5 months ago - Current Score: 308.8
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I am sick and tired of my husband coming on this site and using all of the jokes and humour. Frankly it has become an embarrassment at family occasions, on holiday and in public in general. I'm even considering changing my name from Queen Elizabeth. |
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Joke
by Brit_Miller in Celebrities - The Queen (+ 1 more) - Added: 3 years, 3 months ago - Current Score: 299.8
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Prince Philip and the Queen were dining in one of London's top restaurants. The waiter comes over and asks what Philip would like to order. "I'll have two rare steaks my good fellow." Waiter: "Does sir mean two bloody steaks?" Philip: "Yes quite right old chap, two bloody steaks." Queen: "...and plenty of fucking chips!" |
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Joke
by Ben Dover in Celebrities - Royalty (+ 1 more) - Added: 4 years, 8 months ago - Current Score: 288
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It's high time Britain changed the national anthem from "God save the Queen" Asking a non-existent entity to rescue someone who has never had a moment's peril in her life just makes us look silly. |
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Joke
by Cabron Monoxide in Religion - God (+ 2 more) - Added: 2 years, 3 months ago - Current Score: 286.6
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I saw a Queen tribute act last night. This old woman ended the show by having her daughter-in-law murdered. |
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Joke
by gazzytee in Celebrities - Princess Diana (+ 1 more) - Added: 1 year, 4 months ago - Current Score: 282.2
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As the whole of England falls silent watching Germany storm through the world cup, there is a little whisper in the background, "Look Philip, we're going to win!". |
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My wife said I've got no respect for the The Queen. I nearly choked on my swan sandwich. |
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