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Jokes under Illness and mortality > Cot Death

449414
When I'm bored, I like to switch the baby monitors on and make pretend crying noises into the one upstairs.

My wife's never seen the funny side though, especially since the baby died. 		I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by kakheadman in Illness and mortality - Cot Death - Added: 3 years, 0 months ago - Current Score: 337.8


250093
My wife had a stillborn baby today. She was very distraught... I spent hours comforting her.

Anyway... does that have to go in the green wheelie bin, or can I get away with putting it in the black one? 		I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by kakheadman in Illness and mortality - Cot Death - Added: 3 years, 6 months ago - Current Score: 257.2




608317
My wife woke me up this morning by screaming hysterically at our son's cot.

I'd forgotten to mention that I'd dressed him up as a Smurf before bedtime. 		I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by ClitCommander in Illness and mortality - Cot Death - Added: 2 years, 9 months ago - Current Score: 239.8


168313
At work there's a guy who's partner is having a baby, so the whole office played a "guess the baby's weight at birth" game.

Unfortunately my guess of "still-born" didn't go down too well. 		I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by littledrummerboy in Illness and mortality - Cot Death - Added: 3 years, 9 months ago - Current Score: 64


809939
David Cameron said today that sudden infant death syndrome, or cot death, is an issue that needs addressing.

May I suggest Thousand Island or possibly just a simple, delicate vinaigrette? Matter of taste really. 		I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by gone again in Other - Wordplay (+ 2 more) - Added: 2 years, 4 months ago - Current Score: 58.4


937951
Why don't most parents find cot death funny?

Have you SEEN the price of cots these days! 		I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by burybob in Illness and mortality - Cot Death - Added: 2 years, 0 months ago - Current Score: 49.6


197801
Apparently, the nursery rhyme "Little Boy Blue" is not actually about cot death I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by Psychomonkey in Illness and mortality - Cot Death - Added: 3 years, 8 months ago - Current Score: 35


1022718
As I woke up, I looked into my sisters baby's cot at the halfcast kid and laughed.

"Haha, your baby is Hovis." I said.

"Shut up with all the best of both jokes!" She screamed back at me.

"No not that", I said, "He's brown bread." 		I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by MichaelTimothyAwesome in Racism - Mixed Race (+ 1 more) - Added: 1 year, 10 months ago - Current Score: 28


185776
What's the difference between Chris Moyles and my wife screaming about cot death?

One ruined my day and destroyed my soul when I heard it on Friday morning, the other, well we can always have another baby. 		I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by lovelyspuds in Celebrities - Chris Moyles (+ 1 more) - Added: 3 years, 9 months ago - Current Score: 25.6


659570
My wife thinks that our daughter is a little angel.

Well she's not, she's just dead. 		I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by grrreat in Illness and mortality - Cot Death - Added: 2 years, 8 months ago - Current Score: 25.2



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