Jokes under Other > Fashion
| Straighteners... somewhat ironically making you more gay. |
 
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What's soft and slippery? A slipper. |
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I can't believe my girlfriend just called me old fashioned. And with her ankles showing, the slut. |
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My wife thinks our son is at that age when he's going to start asking for expensive designer clothes. Calvin Klein, Hugo Boss, Fred Perry, Tommy Hilfiger. Luckily, I know he's a gullible twat and buy him clothes from 'Mat Alan'. |
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Joke
by emptyhead in Sex and shit - Teenagers (+ 1 more) - Added: 2 years, 6 months ago - Current Score: 328
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I thought that I would be a bit organised this year and get a costumer sorted for my mate's Halloween party. So I went into this fancy dress place in town and walked towards the Dracula style outfits. A female shop assistant asked me if I needed some help, so I described the look I was going for. She said "I don't think that we can help you, you might want to try the Hugo Boss store across the road", to which I replied "ah, I don't think you heard me correctly, I said that I wante [...]
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I bought a new necklace earlier that made my skin go a funny blue colour so I suspected it was a rip off. Turns out it was a 24ct gold bracelet. |
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Joke
submitted by WayOutWest, originally by help from boombyebye in Crime - Asphyxiation (+ 1 more) - Added: 1 year, 10 months ago - Current Score: 233.6
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As the rain pelted down on us, my brother looked at me and said, "What the fuck are you wearing?" "What? This?" I said, sporting a Hawaiian shirt, shorts and flip flops. "It's this bloody weather. It was nice and sunny when I came out!" He shook his head and was about to give me one of his lectures when I was saved by the music. "Come on you soft cunt," I said. "Dad's coffin isn't gonna carry itself!" |
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When David Beckham scored for England, all the kids wanted Beckham haircuts. Sorry, Lescott, but I can't see this catching on. |
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I often sleep in my wife's knickers. They make a great hammock. |
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I hate the fact my wife insists on wearing a size 10 when she's quite clearly at least a size 14. "Pack it in, Lisa" I said, "Your toes look fucking ridiculous sticking out of those sandals." |
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