Jokes under Sex and shit > Marriage
A guy with a gun enters a bar.
"Who the fuck had sex with my wife?" he snarled.
A voice was heard in the background, "You don't have enough bullets, mate!"
My son just said, "Dad, can you tell me what gay means?"
"It means to be happy," I replied.
"Are you gay, dad?"
"No, son. I married your mother!"
|I went to my local supermarket and they offered me a 'bag for life'. I said, "No thanks, I'm already married."|
I lost my wedding ring yesterday. Had a brief look under the sofa but wasn't really bothered, so my wife told me to look harder.
I've shaved my hair and bought a new Nike tracksuit, but I still can't find it.
I said to my wife, "Do you hear that? No one whining, moaning or complaining. The sound of silence. It's beautiful isn't it?"
And placed her urn back on the mantelpiece.
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