Jokes under Crime > Smuggling
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Juan comes up to the Mexican border on his bicycle. He's got two large bags over his shoulders. The guard stops him and says, "What's in the bags?"
"Sand," answered Juan. The guard says, "We'll just see about that. Get off the bike." The guard detains Juan overnight and has the sand analyzed, only to discover that there is nothing but pure sand in the bags. He releases Juan and lets him cross the border. A week later, the same thi [...] |
 
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I knew my new girlfriend was meant for me when she told me she takes it up the arse. So far she's helped me smuggle over £50,000 worth of Columbian cocaine into the country. |
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4 Weeks ago I was rushed into hospital. When I got into A & E my Dad arrived by my side, Just before I slipped into a Coma, he whispered to me... " you are only here because the condom split" This in itself was traumatic enough, But when I woke up 3 weeks later and found out that it had A Kilo of Heroine in it I was furious. |
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Joke
by SteveyD in Sex and shit - Contraception (+ 1 more) - Added: 3 years, 6 months ago - Current Score: 25.2
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My girlfriend won't let me stick it up her arse anymore. So I've had to quit drug smuggling. |
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| An Indian gentleman was trying to smuggle an elephant through customs, the elephant had a slice of bread in each ear, the officer says ''Good morning sir, anything to declare?'' the man says ''oh no, nothing at all sir''....''well what about that then?'' he said pointing to the elephant... he says ''please sir, whatever I put in my sandwiches has nothing to do with you!'' |
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| In The Sun today, there is a story about an attempt to smuggle £1m worth of drugs aboard HMS Manchester by a wren,but the attached picture is clearly of a blackbird. |
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I've recently given up drugs and alcohol. I had to, I was forced to at customs. |
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Joke
submitted by sick.fucker, originally by Elve in Crime - Smuggling - Added: 3 years, 0 months ago - Current Score: 13.4
| Being a Customs and Immigration Officer at an airport is a really boring job. Day in, day out, scanning endless lines of tourists looking for anything unusual... these guys deserve our sympathy and support. So why not put a smile on their faces with this hilarious practical joke? Next time you're flying anywhere, simply wrap your sandwiches in tin foil and tape them around your chest under your clothes. That'll liven up their day! |
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I always have a laugh when I hear of yet another cigarette smuggler getting nabbed by customs and going to jail. I have been doing it for years and have never been caught. You see I smuggle them in the country one packet at a time and to make sure, I shove them up my arse. |
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My girlfriend used to wonder how I always got away with taking large quantities of drugs through customs. Until she got caught. |
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