Jokes under Illness and mortality > Flu
|When my girlfriend told her friends she was going to grab a box of tissues and head off to bed, she got sympathy. When I said that, I got disgust.|
|Isn't it amazing how, when you're dying from flu and feeling like shit, you can still always muster just enough energy for a wank.|
THE SUN: 'Sick mum faces jail after trying to sell her 14 year old daughter's virginity on e-bay'
Did she have the flu or something?
I phoned my Irish boss this morning to call in sick.
I said, "I'm not coming in today because I've been drinking heavily all weekend and now I feel like shit."
He said, "You're lying, I can tell by your voice that you've got a cold."
My wife text me tonight saying she was coming down with something.
I told her unless it was my bottle of whiskey from the bedroom, I'm not interested.
Seems to me that all the most feared diseases and illnesses are named after animals....
The Black Death
Apparently, Rupert Grint has swine flu.
I'm sure it's not the only reason why Emma Watson didn't want to kiss him.
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