Jokes under Illness and mortality > Flu
| When my girlfriend told her friends she was going to grab a box of tissues and head off to bed, she got sympathy. When I said that, I got disgust. |
 
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Joke
by sheldoncooper in Illness and mortality - Flu (+ 1 more) - Added: 2 years, 5 months ago - Current Score: 766.2
| Isn't it amazing how, when you're dying from flu and feeling like shit, you can still always muster just enough energy for a wank. |
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THE SUN: 'Sick mum faces jail after trying to sell her 14 year old daughter's virginity on e-bay' Did she have the flu or something? |
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I phoned my Irish boss this morning to call in sick. I said, "I'm not coming in today because I've been drinking heavily all weekend and now I feel like shit." He said, "You're lying, I can tell by your voice that you've got a cold." |
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A lion, a bear and a chicken are in a room. All having a competition to see who is the hardest animal in the world. The bear says, "When I roar the whole forest shakes." The lion says, "That's nothing, when I growl the whole jungle shudders." The chicken says, "You pussies, when I cough, the whole fucking world trembles." |
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Joke
by ht in Illness and mortality - Flu (+ 1 more) - Added: 5 years, 9 months ago - Current Score: 179
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My wife text me tonight saying she was coming down with something. I told her unless it was my bottle of whiskey from the bedroom, I'm not interested. |
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Joke
by sick.fucker in Illness and mortality - Flu - Added: 2 years, 5 months ago - Current Score: 52.8
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Seems to me that all the most feared diseases and illnesses are named after animals.... Swine Flu Bird Flu Spanish Flu The Black Death |
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Joke
by xela540 in Illness and mortality - Flu - Added: 3 years, 10 months ago - Current Score: 34.2
| Damn you man flu, I was saving these tissues for some internet action. |
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Joke
by podski111 in Illness and mortality - Flu - Added: 2 years, 8 months ago - Current Score: 25.8
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Apparently, Rupert Grint has swine flu. I'm sure it's not the only reason why Emma Watson didn't want to kiss him. |
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Joke
by danny2008 in Illness and mortality - Flu - Added: 3 years, 10 months ago - Current Score: 24.2
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Good thing about the cold weather, It sorts out the homeless problem. |
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