Jokes under Illness and mortality > Plastic Surgery
Doctor: I'm sorry, but you're just too ugly for plastic surgery. I suggest wearing a plastic bag over your head.
Patient: Um don't you mean a paper bag...?
Doctor: Maybe I didn't emphasize how ugly you are...
My wife stole money off me in my sleep just so she could satisfy her plastic surgery needs.
I have to admit though, it was pretty nice waking up with a 12 inch cock.
My wife has been going on at me for months about paying for plastic surgery to make her face more beautiful.
I said, "But the NHS will do it for free."
"You've got to be joking," she answered.
"No, really," I said, unscrewing a bottle of acid.
|Update on the leaking breast implant scandal - Britain's leading cosmetic surgeon has recommended that all 50,000 women involved should get their tits out.|
I've started saving up for my wife's second boob job.
She looks fucking ridiculous with one massive tit.
When my pet cat was attacked by a dog I rushed her to the vet.
He said, "This looks like it will probably scar but we can give her some plastic surgery"
I said, "Ha ha good idea. Let's give her some massive tits. That'll cheer me right up".
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