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Jokes under Sex and shit > Babysitter

305324
I'm off to a tapas bar tonight with the missus and, unlike Kate and Gerry, I plan on getting a responsible and reliable babysitter...
Any of you guys free around 8?
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Joke by oldhmboi1 in In The News - Missing Persons (+ 1 more) - Added: 3 years, 4 months ago - Current Score: 817


851005
After a night out, I dropped the wife off and drove the babysitter home.

As we pulled up outside her house, I turned to thank her and noticed she was struggling to find the door handle.

I stretched across, my arm softly brushing against her breast.

"Oh, sorry about that," I said apologetically.

"That's Ok," she replied, with a certain glint in her eye, "I liked it."

I thought to myself, " [...]

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Joke by emptyhead in Sex and shit - Babysitter - Added: 2 years, 3 months ago - Current Score: 324




1163757
I've just hired a nineteen year-old Swedish girl with massive tits to babysit my kids.
Now, where the fuck am I going to get some kids from?
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Joke by FantasticMrFucks in Sex and shit - Babysitter - Added: 1 year, 5 months ago - Current Score: 251.2


78613
My fondest memory from childhood was shagging my babysitter.
Right in the middle she said, "We have to stop this. I feel like such a whore."

I said, "Why? I'm not paying you, my parents are!"
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Joke by Zombiejoker in Sex and shit - Babysitter - Added: 4 years, 4 months ago - Current Score: 171.2


156515
I had sex with my babysitter last night.

Best £3 an hour I ever spent.
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Joke by friggi disguvad in Sex and shit - Babysitter - Added: 3 years, 10 months ago - Current Score: 146.4


924579
My wife insists on tidying up before the cleaner comes.

That's as ridiculous as me having a wank before taking the babysitter home.
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Joke by johnnyscum in Sex and shit - Wife (+ 1 more) - Added: 2 years, 1 month ago - Current Score: 127


1348035
I said to the young girl who lives across the road, "I'm looking for a baby sitter."

She said, "Ok, I'll do it."

"Good," I said, "sit on this baby." As I pulled my jeans down.
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Joke by Potting Shed Pete in Sex and shit - Penis (+ 1 more) - Added: 9 months ago - Current Score: 124.4


703059
The babysitter won't be sitting for a while.. I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by Sikipuppi in Sex and shit - Babysitter - Added: 2 years, 7 months ago - Current Score: 91.4


541298
I was in my local and I bumped into an old neighbour. A woman who, as a fourteen year old, I would babysit for to earn a bit of cash. I'd always had a crush on this woman and the years had been kind to her as she still looked really fit for her age. We shared a few drinks and she started to flirt with me and she reminded me that I used to babysit her kids.

I suddenly remembered I used to go through her draws, get out her vibrator, all crusty with the odd pube stuck to it, and snif [...]

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Joke by illegalnature in Sex and shit - Babysitter - Added: 2 years, 10 months ago - Current Score: 77.6


1393263
My wife says that we can't use the same babysitter again.

"Why?" I asked. "Is it because I paid her too much?"

"No, it was the right amount" she replied, "but you didn't have to stick the money in her cleavage."
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Joke by Rocket11 in Sex and shit - Babysitter - Added: 6 months ago - Current Score: 56.6



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