Jokes under Sex and shit > Facial
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I hate predictive text. I've just told my nan that I want to cum on her face. It took me ages to write it, got there in the end though. |
 
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With my girlfriend's mouth wide open, I decided to cum in it. Neither she nor the dentist was impressed. |
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My new laptop's got facial recognition software on it. Now I never watch the same cumshot clip twice. |
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Joke
by drof in Sex and shit - Sperm (+ 1 more) - Added: 3 years, 1 month ago - Current Score: 393.8
| My girlfriend doesn't like facials, she says it gets on her tits... |
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| The worst thing about giving your favourite girl a facial is wiping off the monitor afterwards. |
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Joke
by John Merrick in Sex and shit - Facial - Added: 2 years, 11 months ago - Current Score: 206.4
| Me and my girlfriend had a heated discussion last night and it turns out that not getting any in her hair does not count as a romantic gesture. |
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On the last bus home last night I was sat on the top deck and the only other passenger was this girl. It was plain we had both had too much to drink but one thing lead to another and I ended up blowing my load all over her face, it was amazing. I bet she was fucking livid when she woke up though.. |
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I tried it on with the wife last night but apparently she "had the decorators in". So I left her with a face like a painter's radio. |
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A girl came up to me in a bar last night, all coy with her index finger on her cheek. "Hi," she said shyly. "Do you come here often?" "No, but I'd love to!" I laughed. She frowned. "Sorry," I replied, "I thought you were pointing to your face." |
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Had a massive argument with my girlfriend earlier so to prove my point I pinned her down, pulled her knickers to the side and fucked her until I was ready to explode. Then I put my cock right in front of her face and made sure she was looking as I shot my load in her eyes and all over face. After that she admitted she could see where I was coming from. |
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