Jokes under Illness and mortality > Teeth
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My wife's been complaining for hours about toothache. She's been going on and on about the pain, and how much she's afraid of the dentist. I'd had enough, so I got a pair of pliers, stood on her forehead and yanked the fucker out. Let's see how much moaning she can do without a tongue. |
 
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Joke
by Biscuit777 in Illness and mortality - Teeth - Added: 1 year, 10 months ago - Current Score: 709.4
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I was at the dentist because I needed to get "train tracks" on my teeth. As he was about to put them in, he said, "Brace yourself." I said, "Fuck off! You're the dentist, not me." |
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Joke
by adamscott in Illness and mortality - Teeth - Added: 3 years, 2 months ago - Current Score: 423.6
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I hate having to brush my teeth every morning. I must be the only person in the world with hairy teeth. |
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Joke
by TheRizzler in Other - Wordplay (+ 1 more) - Added: 2 years, 5 months ago - Current Score: 241.4
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When I was younger, I was always scared of the dentist. One time, I was in the chair and he was drilling away in my mouth. At the end, I was crying then he bent over and gave me a lollipop. "Fuck off!" I sobbed. "That's what got me here in the first place." |
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Joke
by adamscott in Illness and mortality - Teeth - Added: 2 years, 6 months ago - Current Score: 209.8
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"Please scream as loud as you possibly can," says the dentist to his patient. "Why should I do that?" "The waiting room's full and the fucking football's on in ten minutes." |
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Joke
by Little Red Rooster in Illness and mortality - Teeth - Added: 7 months ago - Current Score: 167
| If a dentist makes money off people with unhealthy teeth, why should I trust a toothbrush that 4 out of 5 dentists recommend? |
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I was so excited when I found a fiver in my bed this morning. But this excitement turned to despair when I checked my teeth. |
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Joke
by thisisnotmylego in Illness and mortality - Teeth (+ 1 more) - Added: 1 year, 10 months ago - Current Score: 121.2
| Don't talk about my teeth, they're sensitive. |
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Joke
by MrCoolio in Illness and mortality - Teeth - Added: 3 years, 3 months ago - Current Score: 112.6
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People should be nicer to dentists. They have fillings too. |
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Joke
by Waluigii in Illness and mortality - Teeth - Added: 2 years, 11 months ago - Current Score: 39.2
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A dentist told his female patient she'd have to have a root canal operation. "Ugh," she said in disgust, "I'd rather have a baby." The dentist said, "Well, you'd better make your mind up before I've finished adjusting this chair." |
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