Jokes under Events > Easter
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So Jesus was crucified on Good Friday and rose from the dead on the Sunday? Just in time for half price Easter eggs. Typical fucking Jew. |
 
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Joke
by boombyebye in Racism - Jew (+ 1 more) - Added: 3 years, 2 months ago - Current Score: 1,467.6
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I love Jesus. He's born, I get presents. He dies, I get chocolate. |
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Joke
by bumfluffbobRG in Religion - Jesus (+ 1 more) - Added: 3 years, 2 months ago - Current Score: 744.6
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Whenever I'm in doubt, I ask myself, "What would Jesus do?" Then I remember Jesus got crucified, so his decision making skills obviously weren't brilliant. |
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I couldn't afford to buy all my kids Easter eggs, and I didn't want them to wake up disappointed this morning. So I killed them in their sleep. |
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Why is Easter an Alzheimer patient's favourite holiday? They get to hide their own eggs. |
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Joke
by Cleveland in Illness and mortality - Alzheimer/Dementia (+ 1 more) - Added: 5 years, 10 months ago - Current Score: 429.4
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What did Jesus say to his 12 apostles as he was being nailed to the cross? "Don't touch my fucking Easter eggs, I'll be back on Monday." |
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Joke
by stopher in Religion - Jesus (+ 1 more) - Added: 5 years, 3 months ago - Current Score: 419.6
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I think it's great that the supermarkets are doing 'Buy One Get One Free' on Easter eggs now. It's brilliant, because if you're in a relationship, you can get one each for you and your partner, and if you're a single woman, you can have both and try to eat away the loneliness. |
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Joke
by ElGringoBandito in Sex and shit - Relationships (+ 1 more) - Added: 2 years, 2 months ago - Current Score: 379.6
| Today's the day Judas realised his April Fools joke had gone too far. |
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Find it funny how when Jesus 'came back from the dead' people rejoiced. But you come back after a canoeing trip, suddenly you're the bad guy. |
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Joke
submitted by Annonymous, originally by Michael Legge on twitter in In The News - Missing Persons (+ 1 more) - Added: 3 years, 2 months ago - Current Score: 342.6
| How to make Easter easier - replace the t with an i. |
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