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Jokes under Illness and mortality > Hygiene

682599
What's worse than a fly in your soup?

A fly in my soup. 		I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by CarlosDiablo in Illness and mortality - Hygiene - Added: 2 years, 7 months ago - Current Score: 356


930521
My wife came home from the gym today and said, "I think I've done something to my knee, it's killing me."

I said, "Go and get a hot bath."

"What, to ease the pain?" She replied.

"No." I said, "Because you fucking stink." 		I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by stash in Sex and shit - Wife (+ 1 more) - Added: 2 years, 1 month ago - Current Score: 340.2




1006586
No matter how hard I try, I can't understand why people drop gum in urinals.

There's still plenty of flavour left in them. 		I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by Farey in Illness and mortality - Hygiene - Added: 1 year, 11 months ago - Current Score: 266


1134512
Nicest way to let someone know their breath stinks?

'Well I'm bored, let's go brush our teeth.' 		I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by Flaccid T in Illness and mortality - Hygiene - Added: 1 year, 6 months ago - Current Score: 264


405701
Why did the baker's fingers smell funny?

He kneaded a shit. 		I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by mcguire182 in Illness and mortality - Hygiene - Added: 3 years, 1 month ago - Current Score: 92.4


580546
Apparently my knob cheese is the only mature thing about me. I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by Tweedle Dumb Fuck in Illness and mortality - Hygiene - Added: 2 years, 9 months ago - Current Score: 87.2


1233113
I said, "I've been using Flora Pro-Activ to help maintain a healthy heart."

"You fucking prick," shouted my boss at the organ transplant service. "You're supposed to use ice!" 		I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by Tallahassee 90476 in Illness and mortality - Hospital (+ 2 more) - Added: 1 year, 3 months ago - Current Score: 82.2


988009
I went to the doctors because my bum kept bleeding,

"You need to cut down a bit" he told me,

"the beer, fags and junk food?" I asked,

"I was talking about the nail on your index finger" he replied. 		I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by cheesemaps in Illness and mortality - Hygiene - Added: 1 year, 11 months ago - Current Score: 51.8


1425859
My wife has the most breathtaking vagina.

One time, she opened her legs and killed the budgie. 		I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by Rocket11 in Sex and shit - Vagina (+ 1 more) - Added: 3 months, 25 days ago - Current Score: 51.2


458239
A thought crossed my mind when I was drinking from the wife's furry cup.

It's been a month since she walked out and I suppose I should hire a cleaner. 		I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by Unassigned in Sex and shit - Wife (+ 1 more) - Added: 2 years, 11 months ago - Current Score: 49



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