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Jokes under Events > New Year

74203
I've thought long and hard, and have decided on my New Year's resolution.

1024x768. 		I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by MRMIdAS in Events - New Year (+ 1 more) - Added: 4 years, 6 months ago - Current Score: 1,908


1182722
New Year's resolution- Date more models.

Revised- Date more.

Revised again- Get a date.

Revised one last time- Stop crying whilst masturbating. 		I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by RaxTT in Events - New Year - Added: 1 year, 6 months ago - Current Score: 1,205.4




301797
I hope my New Year's Eve night out will be better than last year, when I got arrested in Bradford.
I tried to explain it was a misunderstanding. If I see a Paki counting down from ten, my immediate reaction is to punch the cunt before he can hit the detonator. 		I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by ElGringoBandito in Racism - Pakistani (+ 1 more) - Added: 3 years, 6 months ago - Current Score: 1,187.2


1184828
My New Year's resolutions are:

1. Stop making lists.
B. Be more consistent.
7. Learn to count. 		I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by drof in Events - New Year - Added: 1 year, 5 months ago - Current Score: 1,162.8


297821
For my New Year's Resolution, I have decided to only smoke after sex.

If 2009 is anything to go by, I've quit. 		I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by viper2121 in Illness and mortality - Smoking (+ 1 more) - Added: 3 years, 6 months ago - Current Score: 786.2


302328
This has to be the best day of the year so far!
 I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by bobbyp in Other - Sayings (+ 1 more) - Added: 3 years, 5 months ago - Current Score: 687.2


75627
After watching all the hundreds of tons of fireworks on the telly on new years eve, in my excitement I forgot to turn off the standby button on the TV.
Hope I haven't increased my carbon footprint too much. 		I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by GIZZARD in Events - New Year - Added: 4 years, 5 months ago - Current Score: 467


795221
So another year has passed and I can't help but notice that I'm looking older.
It's like I have that Benjamin Button disease, but backwards. 		I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by BoogieDragon in Illness and mortality - Death (+ 2 more) - Added: 2 years, 6 months ago - Current Score: 429.8


1184934
1st January 2012

Time 00:00:01

And Emile Heskey has already matched his goal tally for 2011. 		I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by slobalob123 in Sports - Football (+ 1 more) - Added: 1 year, 5 months ago - Current Score: 337


1184765
I've just broken two things with one punch.

My New Year's resolution and my wife's nose. 		I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by Sycokiller in Crime - Domestic Violence (+ 2 more) - Added: 1 year, 5 months ago - Current Score: 312



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