Jokes under Sex and shit > Lonely Hearts
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I've just seen an advert in the lonely hearts column, "I'm a curvy girl with a bubbly personality." Yeah, the only thing bubbly about you is the Aero in your back pocket, you fat bitch. |
 
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Joke
by Unassigned in Illness and mortality - Obesity (+ 1 more) - Added: 3 years, 5 months ago - Current Score: 1,175.4
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I got home from work today to see I had no PS3, no Laptop, no plasma, and my girlfriend was missing. I then remembered I've never actually had any of those things... |
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If Match.com has taught me anything. The term curvy covers about 20 dress sizes. |
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| I've had sex with most of the people I work with. I'm unemployed. |
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Joke
by mathb in Sex and shit - Lonely Hearts - Added: 3 years, 10 months ago - Current Score: 129.6
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What’s the difference between a bitch and a whore? A whore sleeps with everyone at the party but a bitch sleeps with everyone at the party except you! |
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I phoned up my local newspaper today to place a lonely heart ad. When the guy answered he said, "What would you like me to print as your ad?" I said, "Short, chubby guy seeks tall, blonde, large breasted females strictly for sex. No strings attached." "I doubt that you're going to get many replies from that," the guy laughed. "You're right," I replied. "Add brunettes to it as well." |
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8 ace wrote:
--------------------------------------------- I'm a single bloke in my thirties. Every time I get introduced to new people, they always ask me, "So, do you have any kids?" Always expecting me to shrug, and wryly give the expected answer; "Not that I know of!" Nowadays, I just tell them; "Well, that sock under my bed and I have been trying for years, but no joy yet." ---------- [...] |
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Joke
by Fiddlerboy in Sex and shit - Singles (+ 1 more) - Added: 3 years, 6 months ago - Current Score: 102.6
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Did you hear about the lonely pyromaniac? He's still looking for the perfect match. |
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Joke
by sam23 in Sex and shit - Lonely Hearts (+ 1 more) - Added: 1 year, 3 months ago - Current Score: 77.2
| Girls on dating websites: Single mother is not an occupation. The word you are looking for is unemployed. |
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Ad in a lonely hearts column: Woman with left leg missing seeks man with right leg missing for a stable relationship. |
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Joke
submitted by Borolad1993, originally by Tim Vine in Sex and shit - Lonely Hearts - Added: 2 years, 3 months ago - Current Score: 19
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