Jokes under Sex and shit > Arsehole
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I was vacuuming the other day when I tripped on the cord and landed on the nozzle, which violently entered my anus. I was highly embarrassed and spent half an hour in the hospital waiting room desperately trying to convince everyone that I had actually been fucking myself with the hoover and that my wife does all the cleaning. |
 
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| When Brendan Rodgers said he thought Liverpool could finish second I didn't realise he meant in every game. |
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I got in touch with my inner self today. That's the last time I buy Tesco Value toilet roll. |
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I went for my routine 6 monthly check up today and everything seemed to be going fine until he stuck his index finger up my arse . That can't be normal dental procedure . |
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I was at work yesterday and one of the women from the office asked me what my ring tone was. "Light brown, like everyone else," I replied. These women are certainly a lot more forward than they used to be! |
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So I hear having a wank with your left hand feels like someone else is doing it? On reflection, asking my girlfriend to do this wasn't so great... |
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Joke
by Paulkk in Sex and shit - Arsehole (+ 2 more) - Added: 2 years, 8 months ago - Current Score: 311.6
| I met this girl online, she said she was a virgin and I was really excited until she told me why. She doesn't have a pussy, butt fuck it. |
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What does a woman's arse and her mouth have in common? Both are fun to put a cock in and nothing but shit comes out of them both. |
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I walked up to a woman in my local the other day and attempted to start conversation, but, before I could start she suddenly said, rather loudly, "No I will not have sex with you!".
Flabbergasted, and rather embarrassed, I stumbled over to a vacant table. Soon I was joined by the same woman who said to me , "Look, I'm really sorry. I'm a psychology student at Uni and I was just studying the behaviour people exhibit to embarrassment". I replied "HOW FUCKING [...] |
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Joke
by geriatric-monkey in Sex and shit - Arsehole - Added: 2 years, 11 months ago - Current Score: 145.4
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I was shagging the wife last night when out of the blue she stuck her finger up my arse. I won't lie , it wasn't unpleasant. Until I realised that the dog was in the room and my wife was handcuffed. |
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