Jokes under Sex and shit > Ex
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A guy runs into an ex-girlfriend, with whom he didn't have the greatest relationship. "You know, I was with another woman last night, but I was still thinking of you." "Why, because you miss me?" "No, because it keeps me from coming too fast." |
 
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| I met my ex-wife down at the gym. We didn't workout. |
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Me and my ex weren't compatible. See, I was a Virgo and she was a bitch. |
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My wife just ran off with my new best friend. I have not met him yet, but I can't wait to shake his hand. |
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My ex-girlfriend was raped at the weekend. It has devastated us and cost us our relationship. Looking back, asking, "Did you enjoy it?" and, "Was he better than me?" were probably not the most sensitive things I've ever said. |
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Joke
by selfishswine in Sex and shit - Ex (+ 1 more) - Added: 3 years, 11 months ago - Current Score: 532.6
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I told my ex I felt like killing her, and she said I needed professional help. So I hired a hitman. |
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Joke
by pushingtheboundries in Sex and shit - Ex - Added: 2 years, 8 months ago - Current Score: 512.2
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When I saw my ex-wife yesterday with her new boyfriend, I couldn't believe just how much he looked like me when we were still together. Fucking miserable. |
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A Marine was deployed to Afghanistan. While he was there he received a letter from his girlfriend. In the letter she explained that she had slept with two guys while he had been gone and she wanted to break up with him. AND, she wanted pictures of herself back.
So the Marine did what any squared-away Marine would do. He went around to his buddies and collected all the unwanted photos of women that he could find. He then mailed about 25 pictures of women (with clothes and without) [...] |
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Laying in bed with the missus recently, I noticed, due to a particularly clear sky, an array of stars. "Wow, look at the stars tonight." Anyway, minutes or so later, due to the earth's motion, the stars appear to have moved. "They move quick when you're not looking at 'em," I said. "Well, it is windy tonight," she replied. She's got great tits, though, bless her. |
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Joke
submitted by Underpants, originally by My thick bint. in Sex and shit - Women (+ 1 more) - Added: 3 years, 6 months ago - Current Score: 330.2
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I just don't know why my stunning girlfriend left me. I have the body of a level 78 barbarian and the wit of a level 89 battle mage. |
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