Jokes under Celebrities > Peter Andre
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MSN News: Alex Reid claims he tells Jordan he loves her "50 million times a day." That would mean you tell her every 0.001728 seconds then, Alex, you retarded, spotlight-grabbing, fame-seeking man-whore. And, by the way, Jordan is a dirty fucking slag. Love Peter P.S. Come and pick your fucking spade up - he's drinking out of the toilet again. |
 
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Joke
by bwfc123 in Celebrities - Jordan/Katie Price (+ 2 more) - Added: 3 years, 9 months ago - Current Score: 1,556.6
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I have just seen Peter Andre at the seaside. He was just sitting on his own, building sandcastles... Mind you, he still looked happy doing it without his bucket and spade there. |
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Joke
by jonny fartpants in Celebrities - Jordan/Katie Price (+ 2 more) - Added: 4 years, 0 months ago - Current Score: 1,314.4
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Homeless and out of work, Peter Andre goes for a job interview working down a coal mine. "So Mr Andre, why do you think you're the right man for this job?" asks the interviewer. "Well, I've been working with slag for the best part of four years now, mate," he replies. "And also I know how to handle a spade." |
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Joke
by SIME in Celebrities - Jordan/Katie Price (+ 2 more) - Added: 4 years, 0 months ago - Current Score: 847.2
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I called my wife a dickhead earlier. We started rowing and she said “If you wanna see a dickhead, you should try looking in the mirror.” So I did, and sure enough there was Peter Andre on page 16 looking every inch a cock. |
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Joke
by Scooterloot in Sex and shit - Wife (+ 1 more) - Added: 3 years, 5 months ago - Current Score: 785.2
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Peter Andre has said that life with Jordan was a constant battle. He said "She always got really irritable whenever her vibrator ran out of diesel." |
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So picture the scene, if you will. Katie Price has just arrived home from the jungle, having been voted to do every bushtucker trial only to be kicked out first chance we got.
She arrives home to find her house in darkness. After turning the light on, she spies a note on the table: "Dear Katie. I've taken the kids. Love, Peter." She notices a tapping sound from across the house, and as she heads toward it she spies something written on the back: [...] |
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Joke
by Exu in Celebrities - Jordan/Katie Price (+ 1 more) - Added: 3 years, 6 months ago - Current Score: 552
| After it was announced Katie Price and Peter Andre are to separate, Katie said she would miss the family holidays they shared, the TV specials they made and the companionship. Peter said he would miss the tit wanks and the fat, cod eyed coon walking into walls. |
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Joke
by jbonse in Celebrities - Jordan/Katie Price (+ 1 more) - Added: 4 years, 0 months ago - Current Score: 415.6
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I went to one of those celebrity poker tournaments last night, it was quite surreal...
Peter Andre lost out on a big pair. Randy Jackson was sad to lose on Jacks n 5. Stevie Wonder forgot he was the big blind. Steven Gerrard was waiting for a flush, but was then let off with a dodgy suit. Ray Mears made a killing on the river, after Hugh Hefner went all in pre-flop. Kerry Katona gave all her money to the dealer. Prince Charles got the [...] |
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Joke
by robja in Celebrities - Stevie Wonder (+ 2 more) - Added: 3 years, 9 months ago - Current Score: 362.4
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So Katie and Peter have split up. I just want to know who gets custody of the camera crew? |
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Joke
by Skelly in Celebrities - Jordan/Katie Price (+ 1 more) - Added: 4 years, 0 months ago - Current Score: 265.4
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Facebook: Vote, who's side are you on? Team Price or Team Andre? Team humanity, shoot them both. |
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Joke
by slash912 in Celebrities - Jordan/Katie Price (+ 1 more) - Added: 3 years, 9 months ago - Current Score: 238.6
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