Jokes under Illness and mortality > STDs

So this ten year old boy walks into a brothel, and he's carrying this dead frog on a stick. He goes to the madam and says, "I want to get a hooker."
She looks at him and says that he's too young. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a hundred dollar bill. "I said I want to get a hooker."
"Fine kid."
"...And I want her to have the clap."
The madam looks at the kid and says no. A hooker, sure, but a hooker with the clap, no. T [...]

So this ten year old boy walks into a brothel, and he's carrying this dead frog on a stick. He goes to the madam and says, "I want to get a hooker."
She looks at him and says that he's too young. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a hundred dollar bill. "I said I want to get a hooker."
"Fine kid."
"...And I want her to have the clap."
The madam looks at the kid and says no. A hooker, sure, but a hooker with the clap, no. The kid pulls out another hundred dollar bill. "I said I want a whore with the clap."
"Fine."
"...And herpes."
The madam balks. No, she says. Thats too much. So he pulls aout another hundred dollars. "I said I want a hooker with herpes."
"Alright fine. Whatever."
"...And AIDS."
The madam stares at the kid with wide-eyed horror.
"No. I'm not going to give you AIDs."
He pulls out a hundred dollars.
"No. This is just wrong. How would I live with myself?"
He throws out another hundred. The madam looks at the kid and decides that he's not going to back down. If she doesn't give him what he wants, someone else probably would. ANd anyway, It is the kids life, after all.
"Fine," she says. "Up the stairs, third door on the left."
The kid walks up the stairs. The stick with the dead frog bouncing as he goes up the steps. He walks into the room and shuts the door.
Ten minutes later he steps out the room, walks down the steps, and is about to walk out the door when the madam stops him.
"Tell me," she says, "Why did you want to throw your life away like that. I mean, your ten years old and you have the clap. And worse, you have herpes. And even worse, you have AIDs. Why would you do that?
The boy turns to her and says, "When I get home, I'm going to jerk off on my babysitters tampon. Sometime later, after I'm in bed, my dad is going to gently caress her. Sometime, in the next month, my dad is going to gently caress my mom. And the next morning, my mom is going to gently caress the mailman."
"And the mailman," the boy said," He's the one that ran over my frog."

I met a girl in the club the other night and after a few drinks headed back to my apartment. Things were getting hot and heavy in the bedroom when she whispered to me,
"Do you have a condom?"
"I have a confession." I said, "I'm actually infertile."
When she saw how upset I became she quickly tried to redeem herself by making passionate love to me.
A week later the same woman came up to my home screaming at me hysterically.
"Y [...]

I met a girl in the club the other night and after a few drinks headed back to my apartment. Things were getting hot and heavy in the bedroom when she whispered to me,
"Do you have a condom?"
"I have a confession." I said, "I'm actually infertile."
When she saw how upset I became she quickly tried to redeem herself by making passionate love to me.
A week later the same woman came up to my home screaming at me hysterically.
"You basterd! You fucking cunt! I'm going t fucking kill you!"
"What did I do?" I replied shakely.
"I'm fucking pregnant! You told me that you were infertile you cunt!"
"Well I thought I was. It's a common effect of syphilis."