Jokes under Illness and mortality > Cancer
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My wife's star sign was cancer and it's quite ironic how she died really... She was attacked by a giant crab. |
 
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Joke
submitted by reallyfunnyman, originally by Bo Burnham in Illness and mortality - Cancer (+ 1 more) - Added: 3 years, 5 months ago - Current Score: 4,226.8
| After hearing today that curries can cure cancer I can't help but feel that Shilpa Shetty had the last laugh. |
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Joke
by Jon2263 in Illness and mortality - Cancer (+ 1 more) - Added: 3 years, 7 months ago - Current Score: 2,776.2
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Doctor: "It's bad news, you have cancer and Alzheimer's." Patient: "Oh well, it could be worse - at least I don't have cancer." |
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Joke
by We Are The Lemon in Illness and mortality - Cancer (+ 1 more) - Added: 6 years, 4 months ago - Current Score: 1,308.2
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My wife is forever saying I don't pay her any attention. So yesterday I was expecting brownie points when I said, "Have you had your hair done dear? You look different." She went ballistic. I won't forget she's having chemotherapy again in a hurry. |
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Joke
by Unassigned in Illness and mortality - Cancer - Added: 4 years, 10 months ago - Current Score: 1,293
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A woman visits her doctor complaining of a strange feeling in her lower stomach. The doctor examines her and states; "Well, I can tell you that you'll need to be buying lots of nappies in about nine months time." "Am I pregnant? That is wonderful news." "No, you have bowel cancer." |
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Joke
by We Are The Lemon in Illness and mortality - Cancer - Added: 6 years, 4 months ago - Current Score: 1,180.6
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Possibly the funniest eBay feedback ever: "Bought item for cousin who had cancer, item never arrived and cousin died." |
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Joke
by Secsi411 in Illness and mortality - Cancer - Added: 3 years, 9 months ago - Current Score: 1,173.6
| Does anyone else think "Don't Fuck with Shilpa Shetty" t-shirts would be a good business idea? |
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Joke
by willey in Illness and mortality - Cancer - Added: 4 years, 2 months ago - Current Score: 1,039
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Earlier today I saw the facebook group "Kids vs Cancer". It turns out writing "My money is on cancer everytime" is one way to get quite a bit of hate mail. |
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Joke
by fagnut in Illness and mortality - Cancer (+ 1 more) - Added: 3 years, 8 months ago - Current Score: 997.8
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Good news for terminal cancer patients... Clocks go back this weekend so that's an extra hour. |
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Joke
by MichaelTimothyAwesome in Illness and mortality - Cancer - Added: 2 years, 7 months ago - Current Score: 884
| I've just been diagnosed with a tumour. I was horrified at first, but it's starting to grow on me. |
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