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A man and his wife were being visited by the midwife for a check up after the birth of their first child. The midwife rings the doorbell and the door is opened by the wife.
"Hey, what are you doing?" asks the midwife, "You should be in bed so soon after giving birth."
"Well, my husband's upstairs bathing the baby." she replies.
The midwife goes upstairs to the bathroom to see how the husband is doing, but to her shock, she sees him leaning over the bath, 2 fingers inserted up the baby's nostrils, swirling it around in the water in a figure of 8.
"What the hell are you doing?" she screams, "That's not how you bathe a baby!"
"Listen...." says the husband, "It bloody well is when the water's this hot!"
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