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I'm looking to start up my own business, recycling discarded chewing gum. Just need help getting it off the ground. |
 
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The wife caught sight of her massive gut in the bathroom mirror earlier and was horrified. "Oh my god, look at the size of me, I'm getting huge." She moaned. "I can't bear to see this big belly in the mirror any longer, I'm going to have to get rid of it." Which has made having a shave a bit fucking difficult for me. |
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Regardless of the negative publicity surrounding the supermarket chain, Tesco burgers are still the most commonly purchased by british shoppers. According to a gallop poll. |
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There's a Cantonese restaurant in our town that's openly selling a dish consisting of Panda meat, and I think it's fucking disgusting. Far too salty. |
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Joke
by worrying anal seepage in Other - Wordplay - Added: 3 months, 25 days ago - Current Score: 9.6
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You may like my collection of natural saltwater and jizz. Cum and sea. |
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I was up early today. Fuck the foreplay. |
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The vineyard Toby Maguire purchased with his Spiderman payment has been forced to close, after falling into a state of disrepair. Surely he should know with grape flower comes great responsibility. |
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I walked into the kitchen to find my wife on the floor, after drinking a full bottle of Windolene. She was clearly dead. |
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My wife treats sex like it's some sort of joke. I don't get it. |
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I accidentally used the wife's 'FemFresh' hygiene spray under my arms tonight and I feel amazingly clean. Smell like a cunt though. |
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