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The doctor put my wife on a new pill and now we have sex every night! Doesn't matter what position we are in, nothing wakes her... |
 
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My wife and I are doing role reversal to spice up our sex life... She's going to be the aggressor, and I'm going to lay there like a corpse. |
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A married man on average lives longer than a single man... Another clever way by women to prolong the suffering of men. |
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I am in a sexless marriage. As far as my wife knows. |
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Being married may not help me live a longer life... but it will sure make me feel like I did. |
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When my wife throws a ball she can't hit the side of a barn... But my head, she can hit with a vase from across the room. |
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| Married life started with so much sex I thought I married a thoroughbred, but on the homestretch of happily ever after, I realized I've got a nag, nag, nag... |
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My kids tell me their mother was gobsmacked when I went out for a pack of cigs and never came back... I don't even smoke! |
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| I offered to pay for laser hair removal for my wife because I was tired of her using my razors, but she declined the offer saying she prefers the feel of the razor blade against her face. |
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My marriage is like my mobile phone contract. When I first signed up I was able to use all of the services I wanted, as much as I desired...no limit and no extra cost. A few months later and I no longer use many of the services because I just can't be bothered to pay the price! |
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