I've just had the worst case of 'Beer Goggles'....
I went back home after a night out and shagged the wife.
|After 5 years of training I was sure my gruesome looking pitbull was ready for a dog fight....my wife didnt agree but I pushed her in the ring anyway.|
|My wife and I after a long discussion decided that we needed to try something different after 15 years of marriage. She has changed her job and Im now fucking her sister.|
|Ive just returned from taking my wife to the hospital in an emergency but all is well thank god....her funeral is next Thursday.|
|I had an eye test today and the optician had bad news. " It would seem your eyes have deteriorated since your last test and I would recommend that you have glasses. " " No thanks", I said. " My wife looks shit as it is. "|
|"I'm off out to walk the dog sweetie, but my phone's run out of battery so I won't be able to get hold of you if I'm raped or murdered." said my my wife. "Okay sweetie" I replied. "I'll open the dog hatch just in case so he can get home safe."|
|I asked my wife for a Blow Job and she said that I had a better chance of shagging Cheryl Cole.....things are looking up then!|
|"Hows your dinner sweetie?", I asked after slaving over a homemade ocean pie. "A bit fishy but I can cope.", she replied. Welcome to my world.|
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