| The headmaster at Bishop Bell school in Eastbourne is said to be outraged with Maths teacher Jeremy...."we had discussions last week and I made it clear that his actions were ill informed....Megan is lovely but Jessica in the 4th grade has far better tits." |
 
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| Adele has stated that writing the song 'Skyfall' for the new James Bond movie was influenced by a trip to the Grand Canyon... about the same size of crater she would have made had she fallen from the sky. |
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| Megan Stammers.....spits, swallows and just loves algebra. |
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| Police search vacant building for missing April: What the fuck dont they understand about the word vacant. |
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| I've been really good since my New Year's Resolution to get fit... I now walk to get my take-aways rather than have them delivered. |
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I've just had the worst case of 'Beer Goggles'.... I went back home after a night out and shagged the wife. |
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| A man in Arizona has hijacked a 4x4 at gunpoint, gone on a 30 minute adrenalin induced police chase and finally shot himself in the head. A suicide note found inside the car stated that these events seemed like a lot more fun than booking into Dignitas. |
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| I was really concerned when Channel 4 stated that "Some viewers may find this disturbing." before a programme. My kids were watching and wondered whether it be appropriate. Fortunately the programme was about child anal sex and didn't involve Katie Price at all. |
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| The father of the Maths teacher who has run off with 15 year old Megan Stammers has publicly announced that his family have been very concerned for their son for some considerable amount of time and are now pleased that he has turned the corner and bagged himself a nice bit of snatch. |
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| Boots are doing 3 for 2 on all hearing aids...who the fuck has 3 ears? |
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