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60757
I was walking down the road when I saw an Afghan bloke standing on a fifth floor balcony shaking a carpet.

I shouted up to him, "What's up Abdul, won't it fucking start?"
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Joke submitted by geebee, originally by Bernard Manning in Religion - Muslim - Added: 4 years, 7 months ago - Current Score: 2,046.6


46740
THE WAR AGAINST TERRORISM....
....God's way of teaching geography to Americans!
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Joke by geebee in Racism - American - Added: 4 years, 9 months ago - Current Score: 1,366.2


43769
A 13 year old Belgian girl wrote to the advice column of a Teenager's magazine.

I am 13 years old and still a virgin, is my Dad queer?
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Joke by geebee in Sex and shit - Incest - Added: 4 years, 9 months ago - Current Score: 1,203


169476
A gourmet goes into a restaurant and asks for a menu.

The waiter tells him they don't have a menu, the customer expresses a desire and they fulfil it.

"Okay, smart arse, I'd like virgin lark's tongues braised in love juice on toast," says the man smugly.

Without batting an eyelid, the waiter heads for the kitchen to place the order.

Two minutes later he's back at the table.

"The chef's sorry to disappoint you, sir, b [...]

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Joke by geebee in Other - Food and Drink - Added: 3 years, 9 months ago - Current Score: 945.4


45393
I once raped an Essex girl. It wasn't as exciting as I'd imagined it to be....

...She fucking enjoyed it more than I did and asked for a date afterwards!
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Joke by geebee in Racism - Blonde - Added: 4 years, 9 months ago - Current Score: 936.2


159315
Talk about being fucking shell-shocked!

I recently came back from a tour of duty in Afghanistan.

Having not seen my wife for several months, I was looking forward to a night of hot passionate sex with her.

Unfortunately she came out of the shower with a fucking towel wrapped round her head and I shot her!
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Joke by geebee in Crime - Gun Crime - Added: 3 years, 10 months ago - Current Score: 760.8


114305
I recently found a round, black piece of plastic, with a hole in the middle and grooves on both sides.
I picked it up and threw it. It flew for more than 300 yards.

I'm sure that must have been a record.
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Joke by geebee in Other - Wordplay - Added: 4 years, 1 month ago - Current Score: 631.4


508268
My mate said, "This Rubik's Cube would be a lot easier if I wasn't colour blind."

Daft twat, it's a piece of fucking piss if you're colour blind!
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Joke by geebee in Other - Internet - Added: 2 years, 10 months ago - Current Score: 531.6


673853
I was recently on Safari in the Serengeti and witnessed two huge male lions, taking it in turns to shag each other.

I thought, "Fuck me, have they got no pride?"
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Joke by geebee in Other - Wordplay (+ 1 more) - Added: 2 years, 7 months ago - Current Score: 476.6


72420
I asked my wife if I could do a 'Brazilian' on her.
She said, "Yes."
So I threw her to the floor and shot her in the head several times!
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Joke by geebee in In The News - Shootings - Added: 4 years, 5 months ago - Current Score: 433



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