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I was walking down the road when I saw an Afghan bloke standing on a fifth floor balcony shaking a carpet. I shouted up to him, "What's up Abdul, won't it fucking start?" |
 
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Joke
submitted by geebee, originally by Bernard Manning in Religion - Muslim - Added: 4 years, 7 months ago - Current Score: 2,046.6
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THE WAR AGAINST TERRORISM.... ....God's way of teaching geography to Americans! |
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A 13 year old Belgian girl wrote to the advice column of a Teenager's magazine. I am 13 years old and still a virgin, is my Dad queer? |
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A gourmet goes into a restaurant and asks for a menu.
The waiter tells him they don't have a menu, the customer expresses a desire and they fulfil it. "Okay, smart arse, I'd like virgin lark's tongues braised in love juice on toast," says the man smugly. Without batting an eyelid, the waiter heads for the kitchen to place the order. Two minutes later he's back at the table. "The chef's sorry to disappoint you, sir, b [...] |
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I once raped an Essex girl. It wasn't as exciting as I'd imagined it to be.... ...She fucking enjoyed it more than I did and asked for a date afterwards! |
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Talk about being fucking shell-shocked! I recently came back from a tour of duty in Afghanistan. Having not seen my wife for several months, I was looking forward to a night of hot passionate sex with her. Unfortunately she came out of the shower with a fucking towel wrapped round her head and I shot her! |
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I recently found a round, black piece of plastic, with a hole in the middle and grooves on both sides. I picked it up and threw it. It flew for more than 300 yards. I'm sure that must have been a record. |
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My mate said, "This Rubik's Cube would be a lot easier if I wasn't colour blind." Daft twat, it's a piece of fucking piss if you're colour blind! |
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I was recently on Safari in the Serengeti and witnessed two huge male lions, taking it in turns to shag each other. I thought, "Fuck me, have they got no pride?" |
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I asked my wife if I could do a 'Brazilian' on her. She said, "Yes." So I threw her to the floor and shot her in the head several times! |
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