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As I sat down in the pub with my pint, I put my Nokia 3310 on the table in front of me. My mate immediately burst out laughing and put his iPhone next to mine. I gave it a disdainful look.
"Why don't you get a better phone, mate?" he asked. "I don't need one." I replied. "My phone does everything that I need and it's better than yours." He burst out laughing again. "Better than mine?" he roared. "Mine has 3 [...] |
 
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What's worse than child abduction? Jokes, apparently. |
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The BBC News channel just displayed images of the three women who claimed that Jimmy Savile interfered with them sexually. They showed a current picture of each of the women and a picture taken of each of them from the 1970s. The caption read: Now, then. Now, then. Now, then. |
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I've bought myself a chinchilla. That should keep my face nice and cool in this warm weather. |
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I've quit my new job as a postman. They handed me my first letter to deliver, I looked at it and thought: "This isn't for me." |
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Chilli didn't originate in Chile. Curry doesn't come from Korea. There's surprisingly little ice on Iceland and Greenland is far from green. I'm emigrating to Niger. |
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| Farewell Africa! Thank you for the World Cup. See you at Comic Relief. |
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I saw a black guy driving around in a Smart car today. I think he was compensating for the size of his penis. |
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My wife is finally losing weight thanks to a slimming club. If she goes near the fridge, I hit her with it. |
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Joke
by TheAncient in Illness and mortality - Obesity - Added: 1 year, 8 months ago - Current Score: 446.2
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I got an invite to the 'marriage ceremony' for T-Mobile and Orange. The reception afterwards was shit. There was only one bar. |
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