| If Earth is the third planet from the sun, does that make every country a third world country.. |
 
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My last shit was just like Twilight.. It came in 4 parts and each part was fucking horrible.. |
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| Does rain really have a smell, or is it the smell of millions of ants simultaneously shitting themselves in the knowledge that they're probably about to die.. |
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Some advice for Joseph Kony. IF you want to evade capture, just hide at your house, it worked for Bin Laden.. |
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| Why is it illegal if a member of the general public impersonates a police officer, but if a stripper does it, it's perfectly fine.. |
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Why don't blind people bungee jump? It scares the fucking shit out of the dogs.. |
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People ask me all the time what my favourite colour is.. Really it changes for different circumstances. For instance, blue, it's a beautiful colour for the sky and the ocean, but it's a horrible colour for a waffle.. |
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| Was thinking about going on a holiday to India, but wasn't sure how the weather was over there.. So I just called my friends at O2 to find out.. |
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