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1420185
I think someone may be sending me death threats.

Woke up this morning with a Tesco burger on my pillow.
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Joke by Monkey Man Arsewipe in In The News - Horse Meat - Added: 5 months ago - Current Score: 554.4


1416532
My nan survived everything Hitler threw at her.

Ironically, she'll probably die this winter from having a gas bill bigger than his.
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Joke by Monkey Man Arsewipe in Illness and mortality - Hypothermia - Added: 5 months ago - Current Score: 305.6


1453985
Everyone lost an hour last night. Or if you saw 'The Voice', two and a half hours. I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by Monkey Man Arsewipe in TV - Talent Shows - Added: 2 months, 20 days ago - Current Score: 153.4


1363264
Folk have been wondering how long Jeremy Forrest will be going inside for?

With a tight schoolgirl pussy? Probably two minutes tops.
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Joke by Monkey Man Arsewipe in In The News - Missing Persons - Added: 9 months ago - Current Score: 136.8


1449902
Teacher: Now then class, let's do some simple sums. I give you £10 and you take a £1. What do I have?

Little Johnny: A bank account in Cyprus, Miss.
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Joke by Monkey Man Arsewipe in In The News - Economy - Added: 3 months ago - Current Score: 114.4


1453703
What happened before the Big Bang?

Indians boarded the bus.
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Joke by Monkey Man Arsewipe in Other - Science (+ 1 more) - Added: 2 months, 21 days ago - Current Score: 103.8


1409526
For want of conversation at the Christmas dinner table earlier I said, "I hear the water levels in Devon have been pretty substantial."

"Parsnips?" my mum interjected.

"Well I don't know if it's gone chest high, Mother, but it's pretty deep."
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Joke by Monkey Man Arsewipe in Other - Misunderstanding - Added: 6 months ago - Current Score: 101.6


1461932
Kids: if anyone tells you you have ADHD, pay no attention. I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by Monkey Man Arsewipe in Illness and mortality - ADHD - Added: 1 month, 29 days ago - Current Score: 99.6


1451195
I was on the ghost train at my local funfair last night. Should have heard the kids screaming for all they were worth.

Anyone would think they'd never seen a penis before.
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Joke by Monkey Man Arsewipe in Sex and shit - Paedophile - Added: 2 months, 29 days ago - Current Score: 95.4


1426820
Every day is Groundhog Day for me.

I work in a factory making pork sausages.
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Joke by Monkey Man Arsewipe in Other - Work - Added: 4 months, 24 days ago - Current Score: 93.6



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