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I typed 'Hell' instead of 'Hull' into my Sat-Nav. I still got there. |
 
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"I just climbed to the top of the world's highest mountain," I told my mate. "Everest?" he asked. "About every hundred feet," I said. |
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I've just opened a shoe shop. So far I've successfully kept everyone away from it. |
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That's the tenth passenger today who's called me a shit bus driver. I don't know where they get off. |
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A sailor walked into my bar. "What can I get you?" I asked. "Just a glass of salt water." He replied. "Whatever floats your boat". I said, pouring his drink. |
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A guy tried robbing me at knife point, luckily I managed to disarm him. I'd just bought a chainsaw. |
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There was a demonstration by homeless people in town today. They were demanding change. |
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Bilbo Baggins has died. I read it in the hobbituary column. |
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I had a bowl of maize. It took me an hour to get my spoon back out. |
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Everyone was entertained when Lionel Richie took his performing cat to 'Sea World'. What a feline, dancing on the sea lion. |
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