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My wife thinks our sex life has got boring and I'm easily distracted. Oh well, better get back to it I suppose. |
 
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The wife just said to me "Right that's it I'm putting you on a sex ban for seven days." "Fuck off!" I replied "I'm not staying in for a week." |
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My wife hates the fact I'm seeing an old flame at work. I keep telling her, "I'm a gas heating engineer, for fuck's sake." |
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My wife has just said she's leaving me because I'm always discussing our relationship with strangers on the Internet. Well the silly bitch couldn't be more wrong, could she? |
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The wife's getting all excited because it's our first wedding anniversary this weekend, I wonder what she's got planned? |
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The wife came home last night and said, "I know something you don't." "Oh yeah, what's that?" I asked. "What it's like to have a big cock," she replied. |
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"So," I said to the wife, "It'll be just me and some of the lads around tonight to have a few beers and watch the football while you're at your mother's." "I wasn't going to go to my mother's," she replied. "Oh," I said. "Haven't I told you about me and the barmaid last night yet?" |
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My wife has started having these weird fantasies. Last night she had one where she wanted me to come home early from the pub and have dinner with her! |
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After the wife had parked the car in town, I got on the phone. "Who are you calling?" She asked. "A taxi" I replied "You can fuck right off if you think I'm walking to the kerb from here!" |
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Found a great way of getting rid of cellulite. I just went on a week long piss up with a few mates, came home and the cellulite was gone. |
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