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So I got chatting to this girl in the club last night and things were starting to really heat up. Close to the end of the night she whispered in my ear "Do you have protection?" Perhaps replying with "Of course, Norton Anti-Virus - I'm not a fucking mug. Especially with the type of porn I download, I'm surprised my computer doesn't have an STD!" wasn't the correct response. |
 
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I was getting quite intimate with a girl in a club last night when she said, "Sorry, I don't believe in sex before marriage!" "That's okay," I replied, "I've been married 10 years." |
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I was with a girl in a club last night and it started to get a little bit steamy. I whispered in her ear, "Have you ever been so wet you felt helpless?" She replied with a little wink as she slowly moved her hand up my pants, "Yeah baby, I'm feeling like that right now". I said, "Well I hope not, I've just pissed my pants". |
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I got chatting to a girl in the club last night and I think she may have a fetish for dried fruit. She told me if I gave her a few dates she might be free. |
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I was chatting with a girl in a club last night, she said "Have you any plans for the future?" "I could see myself shagging you in front of a mirror later." I replied. |
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A fit blonde walked over to me in a club last night, "What do you do for a living?" she asked. "Accounting specialist," I said. "Wow!" she replied, "What can you go up to?" |
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I went up to a girl in a club last night and said, "I've got a stiffy with your name on it." She said, "How do you know my initials?" |
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I was hitting on a girl in a club last night but it wasn’t going well “Which part of ‘FUCK OFF’ do you not understand?” she shouted. “Well obviously ‘U’, yer frigid, rug-munching, hag” I retorted As a comeback it wasn’t particularly witty or clever but its always nice to settle the score and walk away with one’s dignity intact. |
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Met a girl in a club last night and told her I was like Parliament. "What," she asked, "hung?" I said, "no, but I have a fat cock with one eye." |
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Joke
by boroboy in Politics - ??? Other (+ 1 more) - Added: 3 years, 1 month ago - Current Score: 118
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I walked up to a girl in a club last night and said, "I saw you from the other side of the room and thought WOW." She said, "Now you're stood next to me, what do you think?" I said, "I think I need fucking glasses." |
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