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I'm so worried about ID theft that I've changed my name to Lance Armstrong... Nobody wants to be that cunt right now |
 
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I hear in the local paper last week that our church has found a replacement vicar since our last one moved to Australia So I turned up at Sunday morning service to have a gander (Not that I usually go to church) and it turns out our new vicar is black I sat through the whole service thinking "Holy Shit" |
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My favorite sexual position is the American invasion of Afghanistan. I rush in with all guns blazing then shoot my load and retreat before being told I got the wrong hole |
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I've discovered that Miley Cyrus has got a song where she quotes: "Who said, who said I can't be president" Well to be honest Miley, Now's your chance because I've heard they're even accepting niggers these days |
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Surely its legal to rape a psychic as it's their fault that they are in the wrong place at the wrong time... ...your honour |
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I've got to go to my brother's wedding in 4 weeks. Does anyone know any good sites with techniques on how to get ripped by then? |
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Joke
by Im so Hayd in Sex and shit - Pornography - Added: 3 years, 5 months ago - Current Score: 1,543.8
| Just seen that Arsenal and Chelsea have got relatively easy draws in the FA cup but I couldn't find who Man United drew? |
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| I didn't know that getting married automatically enters you into the "grow-your-own annoying, lazy, fucking bitch of a wife competition" |
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Earlier on I used Internet Explorer's InPrivate feature for a wank using my sisters laptop A new screen opened with the writing: "InPrivate is turned on" Woah, slow down mate... I haven't even got my cock out yet |
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Joke
by Im so Hayd in Sex and shit - Pornography - Added: 2 years, 8 months ago - Current Score: 7.8
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Im so sorry about our argument last night, I hate it when we disagree and fight. My world is nothing without you, everyday I think about you and love you more and more. I wish I could just hold your hand and kiss you all the time and then have passionate sex whilst watching casulty... ...anyway suppose i should get back to the main reason im writing this... Happy Mother's Day Mum xxx |
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Joke
by willlovescars in Sex and shit - Incest (+ 1 more) - Added: 3 years, 9 months ago - Current Score: 8.8
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