I love walking on the beach with my girlfriend.
Until the LSD wears off and I'm just dragging a stolen mannequin around a car park.
|After the condom broke i took my girlfriend to the CVS for the morning after pill, i parked in the spot designated for "expecting mothers"....i thought it was fucking hilarious.....she started to cry|
My girlfriend says our sex life reminds her of a film
I laughed and said "what the hangover"
She replies no "fast and furious"
After hours of begging and grovelling my girlfriend for a blowjob I finally cracked and screamed at her;
'Is this because Claire invited me to the duckdoo and not you?'
'What the fuck's a duckdoo?' She replied
Just heard them saying on Talk Sport that they're expecting a lot of boos at the England match tonight.
Fucking hell, keep it down boys, if Gazza finds out he'll be filing through the bars in his cell at the Priory.
|My wife is a lot like my hoover; Getting old, losing suction, getting less frequently turned on and I'm thinking of replacing the old bag.|
|Ironic that the organization giving out updates on the pip breast implants is called the British Association of Aesthetic Plastic Surgeons or baaps for short|
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