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I think all Muslim terrorists who want to voice their hatred for this country should be given a platform to speak from. As long as it comes with a trap door and a rope. |
 
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I've been told I'm not ambitious enough. If only there was an olympic sport for being a lazy bastard. That bronze medal would be mine. |
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Joke
by graeme130287 in Illness and mortality - Lazy (+ 1 more) - Added: 1 week ago - Current Score: 300.6
| It's proving very difficult to find a shop selling "Left Guard" for my other armpit... |
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Jokes don't kill people. Muslims who are offended by jokes kill people. |
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The dogs in my area are so clumsy. I've just had to untangle yet another one from a post outside the newsagents. |
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I met a bloke from Oklahoma this morning. In my garden. |
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I just got a phone call from a representative from Google.
"We're campaigning to get people to sign an on-line petition supporting our company tax arrangements in light of the government's plans for an investigation." "You can fuck right off," I told him. "It's the law abiding tax payer like me who suffers because of bastards like Google. You're getting no support from me!" There was a pause before he added, "We know [...] |
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"What do we want?" "Hearing aids." "When do we want them?" "Hearing aids." |
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Joke
submitted by sirrantalot, originally by The Beta Males in Illness and mortality - Deafness - Added: 2 weeks ago - Current Score: 267.2
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I really wish I knew who kicked the jack out from under the car I was working on. The suspension is killing me. |
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I was watching TV when my wife sat down beside me, stroked my cock through my jeans and whispered, "Fancy a fuck?" I said, "You're after something..." "No I'm not," she protested. "Yes you are," I said. "You're after Match of the Day. Come back in an hour." |
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